The 1981 entries are now complete and this brief hiatus before moving on to '82 seems like the right time to present the first VER HITS SAQ — Seldomly Asked Questions. Other pages and blogs have FAQ's but since no one has bothered to ask me anything about this I'm forced to use a much more modest adverb of frequency — one so meek and mild that it doesn't actually exist. I'll likely post another of these next year so keep those questions to yourself and I'll be so good as to answer whatever I feel like.
What is VER HITS?
VER HITS is a blog in which I review every Single of the Fortnight (SOTF) from the brilliant pop music magazine Smash Hits.
What is VER HITS?
VER HITS is a blog in which I review every Single of the Fortnight (SOTF) from the brilliant pop music magazine Smash Hits.
What does 'ver' mean?
Ver is a Smash Hits-ism, mostly used as an article as a drier, more cynical 'the'. I have absolutely no idea where they got it from but I'm hoping I can find out. Off the top of my head I can still recite a couple instances in which it was used back in the heyday. One was from the Smash Hits Yearbook 1988 in a list of birthdays: "HM Elizabeth II (ver Queen)"; while the other was from an album review of the still unfairly maligned group The Style Council which mentioned their penchant for composing songs about how "ver kids on the street are downtrodden, etc." There's a plentiful spread within the lexicon of the Hits — something I really ought to cover in a future entry — but 'ver' has always been a personal favourite.
What made Smash Hits so special?
It was brilliant. I first got into it through my sister who began buying issues in the autumn of 1988 while we were living in Britain. It didn't take long before I was hooked enough to start purchasing my own copy each fortnight. (Our mum and dad must have thought we were crazy having two issues of the same magazine in the same house) While others may have written letters to the magazine (my attempts never got sent) or tore up every issue to plaster their bedrooms and school notebooks (I Blu Tacked a Brother Beyond poster to the ceiling which came crashing down on me in the middle of the night), my priority was always the reviews. I memorized the singles and albums reviews, wrote some of my own and even composed Hits-esque criticism of releases by my future band Underground. I even began to revere their scribes as much as I did the singers and bands they wrote about. Tom Doyle, Miranda Sawyer, William Shaw, Richard Lowe, Sylvia Patterson, Chris Heath: these were some of my first literary heroes. These people loved pop music, had a laugh and took the mickey out of everyone they wrote about. I couldn't get enough of it and was so desperate for more that I also began buying the vastly inferior rival mag Number One. I loved it so much and it took me a long time to forgive my mum for throwing away most of my very dogeared issues just before we were to head back to Canada in the summer of 1989. Coming back to my homeland, it was a shock to discover that North American music critics weren't cut from the same cloth as their British counterparts. Everything was treated very seriously, hacks didn't care for pop, they revered rock and music with a message. I couldn't believe my eyes when I first flipped through the sheer awfulness of Rolling Stone. I would go on but thinking about this period makes me want to vomit.
Ver is a Smash Hits-ism, mostly used as an article as a drier, more cynical 'the'. I have absolutely no idea where they got it from but I'm hoping I can find out. Off the top of my head I can still recite a couple instances in which it was used back in the heyday. One was from the Smash Hits Yearbook 1988 in a list of birthdays: "HM Elizabeth II (ver Queen)"; while the other was from an album review of the still unfairly maligned group The Style Council which mentioned their penchant for composing songs about how "ver kids on the street are downtrodden, etc." There's a plentiful spread within the lexicon of the Hits — something I really ought to cover in a future entry — but 'ver' has always been a personal favourite.
What made Smash Hits so special?
It was brilliant. I first got into it through my sister who began buying issues in the autumn of 1988 while we were living in Britain. It didn't take long before I was hooked enough to start purchasing my own copy each fortnight. (Our mum and dad must have thought we were crazy having two issues of the same magazine in the same house) While others may have written letters to the magazine (my attempts never got sent) or tore up every issue to plaster their bedrooms and school notebooks (I Blu Tacked a Brother Beyond poster to the ceiling which came crashing down on me in the middle of the night), my priority was always the reviews. I memorized the singles and albums reviews, wrote some of my own and even composed Hits-esque criticism of releases by my future band Underground. I even began to revere their scribes as much as I did the singers and bands they wrote about. Tom Doyle, Miranda Sawyer, William Shaw, Richard Lowe, Sylvia Patterson, Chris Heath: these were some of my first literary heroes. These people loved pop music, had a laugh and took the mickey out of everyone they wrote about. I couldn't get enough of it and was so desperate for more that I also began buying the vastly inferior rival mag Number One. I loved it so much and it took me a long time to forgive my mum for throwing away most of my very dogeared issues just before we were to head back to Canada in the summer of 1989. Coming back to my homeland, it was a shock to discover that North American music critics weren't cut from the same cloth as their British counterparts. Everything was treated very seriously, hacks didn't care for pop, they revered rock and music with a message. I couldn't believe my eyes when I first flipped through the sheer awfulness of Rolling Stone. I would go on but thinking about this period makes me want to vomit.
What gave you the idea for this blog?
My previous blog was set over an
entire year and when it came to an end last summer I began to wrack my brain
for some new ideas. I considered setting up another autobiographical blog about
my childhood, my awkward adolescence or my time living Asia but none of them
were as entwined with my passion for music and I didn't feel confident enough
that I'd be able to see them through.
Circumstances sort of led me here. I drew some inspiration from the brilliant Popular page, in which Tom Ewing has slowly been reviewing every UK number one single, and I thought I could do something not unlike that. I quickly discovered that there's also a number one albums blog, a number two singles blog, an American number ones blog and an American number one albums blog. I toyed with a Canadian number ones blog but I soon realised that it was going to be far too similar to its US counterpart — even if my countrymen were the only people with sufficient taste to propel The B-52's "Rock Lobster" to the top of our listings.
The idea began to gel after listening to the Word in Your Ear podcasts. Hosted by veteran music critics David Hepworth and Mark Ellen, it's centred around meeting up with various writers and musicians in a pub in London and discussing books they happen to be flogging. They've also devoted a pair of episodes to reminiscing about the "magic of Smash Hits" which really got me feeling nostalgic. In one such episode they happened to mention one Brian McCloskey, an Irish ex-pat living in California who has been posting every issue of ver Hits on his Flickr page. I got hooked and took a particular pleasure in looking up each issue's singles review page. I soon began keeping a list of the SOTF's and that's when the comic book light bulb turned itself on above my head.
The idea began to gel after listening to the Word in Your Ear podcasts. Hosted by veteran music critics David Hepworth and Mark Ellen, it's centred around meeting up with various writers and musicians in a pub in London and discussing books they happen to be flogging. They've also devoted a pair of episodes to reminiscing about the "magic of Smash Hits" which really got me feeling nostalgic. In one such episode they happened to mention one Brian McCloskey, an Irish ex-pat living in California who has been posting every issue of ver Hits on his Flickr page. I got hooked and took a particular pleasure in looking up each issue's singles review page. I soon began keeping a list of the SOTF's and that's when the comic book light bulb turned itself on above my head.
I've never heard of a lot of these songs and some of these acts.
Because the feather in the cap of a SOTF didn't necessarily translate into chart success nor long lasting popularity — in truth, it probably had made next to no impact on an average single's chart fortunes, something I may go into at some point. Of the thirteen singles that I have written about so far only five managed to dent the Top 40 — while the rest would have been perfect for The Flop Parade, another idea for a blog I toyed with prior to starting on this one..
I have to say that I like there's a mix of acts that never made it, some that burned out pretty swiftly, others who met with some success but are largely forgotten and some who are still fondly remembered to this day — it's even possible that we'll come across someone who few cared about in their day but have subsequently been given more recognition. Similarly, styles and quality vary every bit as much as each record's success — and I wouldn't want to have it any other way.
At the bottom of each entry you have a short review of another single. What's up with that?
Those are the 'cop' picks, singles that were covered in that issue's singles round up that I feel are worthy of enough of my time to merit a short paragraph. They're not always my favourites, as evidence of my choosing a poorly made medley of classical music over a pretty great number from synth-pop pioneers Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark just a little while ago. I spent far more time fretting over that than I did on the actual writing.
'Cop' is yet another Smash Hits-ism, most often used when describing record that they didn't much care for as being "not much cop". I think they only ever used it negatively so I'm probably the first person to ever use it affirmatively. There's something to boast about.
How long do you plan on doing this for?
Remember what I said above about not wanting to start something that I would only spurn at some point? Well...
I'm commited to doing this for at least five years. Since I'll be able to cover two years' worth of reviews into each twelve month period, I should be able to get to at least 1991. I'm not particularly fond of a lot of nineties music so I can't promise how long I'll go from there. Plus, I very well may be ready to move on in five years' time.
Why do entries in this blog start in the middle of 1981? Shouldn't they go back to when Smash Hits started back in '78?
Because the singles review page was a lot different in the early days of ver Hits. Originally they were divided into two sections: pop/rock and disco/soul. Blondie's masterpiece "Heart of Glass" seemed to smash those two genres together and with that singles segregation came to an end. But seldom did reviewers feel the need to tell the reader about their favourite. The few instances in which a pick of the litter was stated was something I dealt with in the introductory entry back in March. I spent an awful lot of time needlessly fretting about where to kick things off but I kept coming back to "Skin Deep" by The Passions. It's here that reviewers began picking favourites on a much more regular basis and soon SOTF's became a feature. Somewhat fun but very much a fact, fiends: The Police's "Invisible Sun" is the first single to be bordered by stars, a sign that the SOTF was becoming a thing. A milestone of pop music criticism, or something.
(NB: I have since started writing reviews of earlier SOTF, beginning with Blondie's "Heart of Glass". When reviewers haven't explicitly stated a favourite, I have taken the liberty to infer picks based on how much praise they dish out. It's not exact but there you go.)
What is your favourite SOTF?
All time? I have no idea but it's sure to be something I'll bring up in the future. For now, however, it's quite easily "Love Action (I Believe in Love)" by The Human League. Immensely catchy but somewhat unsettling, it succeeds in sneaking up on me. I may try to sing it to myself but there are always bits I forget about and it always manages to sound better in practice than in my head. Even the video is brilliant with all six members of ver League really into acting out the admittedly confusing storyline. They really could have done a brilliant Bond theme had they been given the chance that I suspect they so coveted.
As far as the 'cop' picks go, I'd have to opt for Dexys Midnight Runners' "Show Me". Not some great leap forward or change of direction, just yet another magnificent piece of rough-hewn soul that they did better than anyone.
Finally, a quick shout out to Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark's "Souvenir", the best song I didn't end up writing about. I was still considering the 'cop' picks at this point to be alternate SOTF's but I felt that the Portsmouth Sinfonia's brilliantly awful "Classical Muddly" inspired me more. Again, I wasted a lot of time fretting over this apparent snub. Delicately icy, it proved that synth groups could do fey as well as any pack of Scots indie popsters.
Do you have a VER HITS playlist on Spotify?
Sadly, no. I've looked into it but Spotify isn't currently available here in South Korea where I live. I did make one on Deezer but it doesn't appear to allow me to shift tracks around and add more so I won't be sharing it. (Plus, there's the fact that none of you has the faintest idea what 'Deezer' even is so it's not even worth bothering with in that respect). I would like to make playlists available YouTube but it will have to wait a little while. More on that in the future.
(NB: YouTube links to so-called VER HITS Party Playlists are featured on the blog. Spotify has recently opened an office here in South Korea)
Because the feather in the cap of a SOTF didn't necessarily translate into chart success nor long lasting popularity — in truth, it probably had made next to no impact on an average single's chart fortunes, something I may go into at some point. Of the thirteen singles that I have written about so far only five managed to dent the Top 40 — while the rest would have been perfect for The Flop Parade, another idea for a blog I toyed with prior to starting on this one..
I have to say that I like there's a mix of acts that never made it, some that burned out pretty swiftly, others who met with some success but are largely forgotten and some who are still fondly remembered to this day — it's even possible that we'll come across someone who few cared about in their day but have subsequently been given more recognition. Similarly, styles and quality vary every bit as much as each record's success — and I wouldn't want to have it any other way.
At the bottom of each entry you have a short review of another single. What's up with that?
Those are the 'cop' picks, singles that were covered in that issue's singles round up that I feel are worthy of enough of my time to merit a short paragraph. They're not always my favourites, as evidence of my choosing a poorly made medley of classical music over a pretty great number from synth-pop pioneers Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark just a little while ago. I spent far more time fretting over that than I did on the actual writing.
'Cop' is yet another Smash Hits-ism, most often used when describing record that they didn't much care for as being "not much cop". I think they only ever used it negatively so I'm probably the first person to ever use it affirmatively. There's something to boast about.
How long do you plan on doing this for?
Remember what I said above about not wanting to start something that I would only spurn at some point? Well...
I'm commited to doing this for at least five years. Since I'll be able to cover two years' worth of reviews into each twelve month period, I should be able to get to at least 1991. I'm not particularly fond of a lot of nineties music so I can't promise how long I'll go from there. Plus, I very well may be ready to move on in five years' time.
Why do entries in this blog start in the middle of 1981? Shouldn't they go back to when Smash Hits started back in '78?
Because the singles review page was a lot different in the early days of ver Hits. Originally they were divided into two sections: pop/rock and disco/soul. Blondie's masterpiece "Heart of Glass" seemed to smash those two genres together and with that singles segregation came to an end. But seldom did reviewers feel the need to tell the reader about their favourite. The few instances in which a pick of the litter was stated was something I dealt with in the introductory entry back in March. I spent an awful lot of time needlessly fretting about where to kick things off but I kept coming back to "Skin Deep" by The Passions. It's here that reviewers began picking favourites on a much more regular basis and soon SOTF's became a feature. Somewhat fun but very much a fact, fiends: The Police's "Invisible Sun" is the first single to be bordered by stars, a sign that the SOTF was becoming a thing. A milestone of pop music criticism, or something.
(NB: I have since started writing reviews of earlier SOTF, beginning with Blondie's "Heart of Glass". When reviewers haven't explicitly stated a favourite, I have taken the liberty to infer picks based on how much praise they dish out. It's not exact but there you go.)
What is your favourite SOTF?
All time? I have no idea but it's sure to be something I'll bring up in the future. For now, however, it's quite easily "Love Action (I Believe in Love)" by The Human League. Immensely catchy but somewhat unsettling, it succeeds in sneaking up on me. I may try to sing it to myself but there are always bits I forget about and it always manages to sound better in practice than in my head. Even the video is brilliant with all six members of ver League really into acting out the admittedly confusing storyline. They really could have done a brilliant Bond theme had they been given the chance that I suspect they so coveted.
As far as the 'cop' picks go, I'd have to opt for Dexys Midnight Runners' "Show Me". Not some great leap forward or change of direction, just yet another magnificent piece of rough-hewn soul that they did better than anyone.
Finally, a quick shout out to Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark's "Souvenir", the best song I didn't end up writing about. I was still considering the 'cop' picks at this point to be alternate SOTF's but I felt that the Portsmouth Sinfonia's brilliantly awful "Classical Muddly" inspired me more. Again, I wasted a lot of time fretting over this apparent snub. Delicately icy, it proved that synth groups could do fey as well as any pack of Scots indie popsters.
Do you have a VER HITS playlist on Spotify?
Sadly, no. I've looked into it but Spotify isn't currently available here in South Korea where I live. I did make one on Deezer but it doesn't appear to allow me to shift tracks around and add more so I won't be sharing it. (Plus, there's the fact that none of you has the faintest idea what 'Deezer' even is so it's not even worth bothering with in that respect). I would like to make playlists available YouTube but it will have to wait a little while. More on that in the future.
(NB: YouTube links to so-called VER HITS Party Playlists are featured on the blog. Spotify has recently opened an office here in South Korea)
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