— Leesa Daniels
Novelty songs, spirited but pointless covers, timely re-releases, festive cheer that rapidly wears off, Cliff: (sigh) and yet another Christmas Number One battle takes place.
It must have seemed like the crown was Take That's to lose, which is as sure a sign as any that they would come up short. Rick Astley failed to nab it in '87, Bros lost out a year later and Wham! only managed do so quite recently when the charts were well and truly broken. "Babe" being the odds on favourite ultimately rendered it a longshot.
I remember the first time I saw a photo of Take That in an imported (and expensive) copy of Number One back in the summer of 1991. They looked hopeless. It no doubt didn't help that the quintet were posed with Keely Hawkes, the photogenic sister of recent pop sensation Chesney, and they appeared to be her modestly talented backing band or (worse yet) her posse of himbo dancers. The small write up mentioned that they had a single out called "Do What U Like". Pop star Kenny Thomas gave it a fairly encouraging review when he guested in the singles seat in Smash Hits but it's a dismal first try. While Bros stumbled in similar fashion with their first release, pop stardom was right around the corner for them; in the case of Take That, it was going to take a good deal longer.
Further releases over the next year and a half reflected a generally upward trend. The cover version route helped them crack the Top 10 but, wisely, it was a well they went to only on occasion. "Do What U Like" may have been the best Gary Barlow was capable of while only just out of his teens but by 1993 he was as capable a songwriter as any of his much more ballyhooed indie rock contemporaries.
Not that "Babe" is one of his more exceptional compositions. The song's narrative seems to depict a good-for-nothing bloke who runs out on his lass who also happens to be with child. Despite being told that she has moved on (in a literal sense though the choice of phrasal verb implies that she's happy to be rid of him by now) But now he's back and looking to rekindle things. Is he committed to swallowing some humble pie? Will he offer up a mea culpa? We aren't to know.
Much was made of this being Mark Owen's first solo vocal. Though Robbie Williams certainly had his share of admirers, his boyish looks made him unquestionably the group's most popular member. This factor alone was reason enough to give him the spotlight for their stab at the festive top spot but there's another matter worth considering. Robbie's voice wouldn't have suited a number like "Babe": he no doubt would have come across as arrogant and uncaring. (Though the song's lyrics tell a separate story, I always hear a bit of spite in the Robbie led "Everything Changes") On the other hand, Gary Barlow probably would sounded too apologetic even if he believed himself to be innocent. ("Whatever I did, whatever I said, I didn't mean it" is a highlight of future Single of the Fortnight Best New Single "Back for Good" but clueless contrition doesn't work when it comes to begging for another chance years after walking out on a girlfriend) But Mark is so sweet and innocent that we just have to take his side even if he's clearly the bastard.
While Take That have long been my favourite boy band, "Babe" has never been one of their great records, as opposed to "Pray", "Back for Good" and "Never Forget". That said, I'll give them a nod for trying something a little different. It's easy to imagine forces both in and outside the band pushing for the a song like "Love Ain't Here Anymore" to be their Christmas release — and they wouldn't even necessarily have been wrong. Gun to my head I'll take the one that isn't "Babe" but there's no question which one has been done a million times before and which one has the spark of originality to it.
Mind you, it's just a spark. The lyrics are clumsy and the backing vocals are so arranged as to make us think that the oft repeated "where have you been?" line is directed at the girl. I might lose myself in liking it for a while until I remember all the manipulative tricks that have been thrown in — and that's before we even get to the video which has Mark returning from the Somme or Passchendaele or Vimy having seen off the Germans only to return home to his belle and the son he's never met. He walked out on her in service to his country though nothing in the song itself would suggest this takes place.
It was in Smash Hits just over ten years earlier that Deborah Steels expressed her appreciation for Fun Boy Three's "Our Lips Are Sealed" by wanting to give singer Terry Hall a "big hug". Reviewer Leesa Daniels wishes to console Mark Owen in similar fashion upon listening to "Babe" but in this case her sympathy is wasted. Still, where would pop music be if we weren't being gently steered into taking the side of rogues?
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Also Reviewed This Fortnight
D:Ream: "Things Can Only Get Better"
Technically there are four UK Number One hits up for consideration in this issue. The only thing is, only three of them went to the top spot at this time. (Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "The Power of Love" got a seasonal re-release which did decently enough) D:Ream's signature hit had previously managed only to peaked in the twenties but the post-Christmas rush and a prominent spot opening for (who else?) Take That on their tour was all that was needed for a spruced up remix of "Things Can Only Get Better" to get a second chance. I used to really like its synth-pop adjacent sound but was always turned off a bit by Peter Cunnah's boy band voice. For many, it would be ruined by the Labour Party three years later but given what Tony Blair managed to accomplish in Cunnah's native Northern Ireland (just about the only thing Britons ought to respect him for) it seems oddly appropriate. I couldn't say if it has aged well or not but I have certainly outgrown it.
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