Jermaine Stewart: "Don't Talk Dirty to Me" / Fairground Attraction: "A Smile in a Whisper"

21 September 1988

This is the second in an occasional series in which pop groups review the singles and fail to agree on a favourite. The Communards did pretty well for themselves in spite of their disagreements, picking a pair of top level pop records for joint Single of the Fortnight. Not up to the task as well, Bros sift through the new releases and wind up choosing a pair of nondescript numbers. And fair enough, they're hardly the first "critics" to pick a mediocrity and they're far from the last. But not only are the songs not up to much but Matt, Luke and Ken don't have much to say about their picks either. No, there was only one review present in which they contribute anything worth writing about more than thirty years later and it's about their bete noire The Wonder Stuff. So, for this post I'll be focusing on the supplementary post (as always, filed under Also of some cop) with their respective SOTF only being touched upon briefly. A one-off roll reversal, then. Enjoy!

~~~~~

"The b-side's called "Astley In The Noose" is it? Presumably they hate us as well, right?"

— Matt

"The thing that annoys me is that we play as much live as they play live, exactly the same instruments except with a different style and different music so I don't know what they're on about."

— Luke

"Sick."

— Ken

Also "Reviewed" This Fortnight

The Wonder Stuff: "It's Yer Money I'm After, Baby"

"It's Yer Money I'm After Baby" was The Wonder Stuff's fifth single. Their debut album The Eight Legged Groove machine had been released a month earlier to positive reviews (even in Smash Hits; it wasn't just the "serious" music press that championed them) and previous single "A Wish Away" had only just missed the Top 40 so things were starting to look up. They were still a few years away from being one of the biggest groups in the country and it would've difficult in 1988 to imagine them getting that big but there was something to them. In Miles Hunt they had a charismatic frontman who was equal parts Noddy Holder, John Lydon and Robert Plant. They looked a state but they could play and had already cultivated a loyal following. All they needed was for the media to start paying attention. Good thing they had a song called "Astley in the Noose" to do just that.

It was only a b-side but it was getting attention. The song is actually discussed twice in this fortnight's issue of Smash Hits. Rick Astley sat down with Hits scribe Tom Doyle to look at some questions that fans had sent in. Among some very Hitsian queries — Have you ever had the urge to run into Tescos and shout "Sainsburys!"?, Which Muppet from The Muppet Show do you think resembles you the most — one pop kid wrote in to ask, What do you think about The Wonder Stuff writing a song called "Astley in the Noose"? (The record had only just come out and it was already coming up in a Q&A so clearly there was a buzz surrounding it)

Perhaps surprisingly, Astley took it in good humour. He wasn't overly familiar with them ("are they some indie band or something?") but seemed impressed by the sentiment ("I suppose I'm quite honoured in a way. Good on you The Wonder Stuff. I'd like to meet them someday..."). If his feelings had been hurt by the imagery of him being hanged he didn't express it here. Rick Astley understood how to be the bigger person and how to take a slight and make light of it.

Flip over to the singles review page and you'll note that Bros reacted differently. Now, they could have fired back by standing up for the singer. Matt Goss could've said "Rick Astley's a good bloke and doesn't deserve to be treated this way", Luke could've said "Rick's a performer just like them and should be treated with respect" and Ken could've said "Yeah" and all would've been fine. They would've missed the point of the song either way but at least they would've been nobly defending the honour of a fellow pop star.

But they went a different way by making it all about themselves. Having shot to fame that year with mega hits "When Will I Be Famous?", "Doctor Boy" and "I Owe You Nothing", they quickly developed a thorny relationship with their critics. They delighted in having the tabloids cover their every move until it came back to bite them and they often felt disrespected by other bands. Though they hadn't really paid their dues, they still expected to be treated like any other group and would eventually claim that they were "about longevity", which fascinated that great observer of all things pop Neil Tennant (to the extent that he used it in "How Can You Expect to Be Taken Seriously", one of the Pet Shop Boys' great ironic numbers). So to have a shouty Miles Hunt lay waste to Astley them was just not on.

Their "review" begins with some guarded praise of "It's Yer Money I'm After Baby". It isn't really their thing (no big shock there) but they do have positive things to say, with Ken admitting that it has a "good melody". Then, they take note of the song on the flip side and suddenly all bets are off. Matt says that they would never be so crass as to have a song called "The Wonder Stuff In The Noose" while Luke admits that he doesn't know "what they're on about". (Giving it a spin would've helped)

Had Bros given a listen to this song with the title that offends them so much, they may have discovered a thing or two. First, they likely would have been even more horrified by the "I wouldn't kill you even if you paid me" line ("Presumably they wouldn't kill us even if someone paid them too..."). More significant, however, is the reveal that he they "shouldn't take this to heart / it's all to do with art and entertainment". Rick Astley Bros aren't the target, it's their crappy music. Somehow I don't think this would have placated the Goss twins and the other one.

Ultimately, "Astley in the Noose" is a good tune but the lyrics are a little too on the nose and speak more to Hunt's rage than to crafting great pop of their own. Significantly, The Wonder Stuff would channel more or less the same sentiments into their following single. "Who Wants to Be the Disco King?" is just as pointed an attack on the state of current pop but with subtler imagery and Hunt shifting between anger and wistfulness. While "It's Yer Money..." only just dented the Top 40 with a single week at the very bottom of the table, "...Disco King" peaked at no. 28 and was the highest new entry that week. Slow, modest steps but encouraging and a sign that maybe there were more potential Wonder Stuff fans out there. I happened to be one of them but not for another two or three years.

~~~~~

The late Jermaine Stewart had hit it big around the world with "We Don't Have to Take Our Clothes Off" in 1985 but his fortunes dipped by '88. UK success, however, had continued with the Top 20 hits "Say It Again" and "Get Lucky". "Don't Talk Dirty to Me" is more of the same, a throwback to the NY clubs that was still clinging to relevance. Yeah, there were still popular records just like this at the time but they were beginning to fade away. Luke and Ken love it because it's their type of thing and that's fine but in the end it's just another R&B disco tune in a world packed to the brim with 'em.

~~~~~

The buskers from up north had surprised many when they went to no. 1 with "Perfect". Riding the momentum, follow-up "Find My Love" (which this blogger maintains is the superior single) got itself a Top 10 spot but the hits were running out for Fairport Fairground Convention Attraction. "A Smile in a Whisper" is a fine opener to their album The First of a Million Kisses but it has no business being a single — and, indeed, the same goes for everything else on their LP. Scraping the bottom of the barrel tends to go a lot deeper but maybe this is less a barrel and more a sugar bowl on the kitchen table. And there's nothing like trying to dislodge an encrusted clump of the sweet stuff just to make your bowl of Special K that bit less tasteless, is there?

Brother Beyond: "The Harder I Try"

13 July 1988

"A more apt title for a single there has not been since "When Will I Be Famous", since no other band has ever tried harder to snatch a whiff of success than the 'Yond."

— Mike Soutar

Needless to say, the majority of pop groups don't make it. Most aren't even close. Lowest on the totem pole is your typical hopeless high school band, a foursome who play just the once at an end of the school year assembly and then fold up shop due to creative differences (i.e. the girls didn't throw themselves at them following that first "gig"). Then, you've got your respectable workaday band that plays around their hometown, develops a bit of a following but aren't able to cut it any further. It's still a bit of a climb before record labels begin to pay attention and, even then, there's still no guarantee of the pop charts.

This blog has seen some less-than-household names. Many were still feeding off the D.I.Y. energy of punk, were on tiny labels and didn't stand much chance of a hit single. As the eighties progressed, however, the big record companies began to reassert their dominance and they put considerable funds behind their signings. Some paid off but lots of others didn't.

The way out for many groups was to have a hit elsewhere, especially those lucky enough to do so in the US. Breathe couldn't snag themselves a Top 40 placing back home to save their lives but as soon as their, well, breathy ballad "Hands to Heaven" got released on the other side of the Atlantic, it flew up the Hot 100. The British, for their part, acted suitably and  the single became a belated hit. The same thing happened with Chris Rea, Dire Straits, Danny Wilson and Waterfront, of all people. Yet, it would often prove a band-aid situation: American success might remain but the hits back home would quickly dry up, as Breathe themselves experienced.

Brother Beyond didn't have the luxury of foreign charts, even though they initially did well in Italy, where they were known as 'Brother Behind'. Four flops came and went and the promising young group looked finished. Their early work isn't bad though and it isn't difficult to imagine them all cracking the charts had their luck been going for them. (This is even brought up in two different singles reviews with both Barry McIlheney and Ro Newton suggesting that Nathan Moore putting a hat on backwards — just like Ben from Curiosity Killed the Cat — was all that was stopping them from hitting it big) To their credit, however, they didn't have that easy answer ballad in their back pockets to give them that elusive hit.

Then came Stock Aitken Waterman to the rescue. To help raise funds for the Young Variety Club of Great Britain, SAW auctioned off their services. Record label EMI made the highest bid and one of their struggling acts would be gifted with a composition and studio time. Brother Beyond were selected and their fortunes would soon change.

SAW referred to themselves as a 'Hit Factory' but this label wasn't yet accurate. Assembly line writing and production for cookie cutter acts only really began as their work diminished in quality over the course of 1989 with the abominable trio of The Reynolds Girls, Sonia and Big Fun. Rewind back a year and they were still craftsmen, piecing together songs and sounds with various acts in mind. Bananarama had been around a bit and came across as kindly older sisters giving advice to younger siblings. Mel & Kim were a pair of tough sisters from hardscrabble east London who'd been through a lot. Rick Astley was a sensitive lad who tried to do what was right for his sweetheart. Kylie was the ultimate girl next door. SAW's best stuff for each of these acts reflects these roles.

Brother Beyond were not a part of the SAW sphere for long enough to get themselves boxed into playing a part but I'd argue that some thought had been put into what they shouldn't be like. Bros had begun dominating the charts in 1988 with hits such as "When Will I Be Famous?" and "I Owe You Nothing" and what set them apart was a sort of angry confidence. While there had been traces of humour in their first hit, subsequent singles were deadly serious affairs and they would prove to be no different in real life interviews (but more on that in a few weeks). The 'Yond weren't exactly shy themselves — Moore smiling, chiseled features made him an instant pinup but "The Harder I Try" displays a newfound vulnerability that contrasted nicely with the Goss twins and the other one. Matt Goss wasn't about to put up with any of your nonsense, girls; Nathan Moore, by contrast, will not stop hoping.

With a Northern Soul/Motown feel, "The Harder I Try" may have seemed like a throwback but it was a fresh sound compared to much of the British blue eyed soul that had been all over the charts for the past two years. Matt Stock and Mike Aitken have admitted to giving "Never Gonna Give You Up" an old-fashioned pop sound but they perfected the art here. It's a little more casual that what Brother Beyond had done before but still very much in keeping with what they were interested in doing. As Mike Soutar notes, it's recognisable SAW but not drowning in their cliches. Sure, it opens with their patented bit-of-the-chorus-in-instrumental-form and has those cooing female backing singers that they used to death but, otherwise, it isn't the most SAW thing around at the time.

The 'Yong are now described as a 'boy band' (notably, a term no one used back then) and it was likely their Top 10 hits with SAW compositions and connection to Bros that earned them this label. This is something I hope to go into in greater detail in an upcoming entry but I will say that it may be possible that their breakthrough smash became their undoing. The songs that band members Carl Fysh and brothers David and Eg White had written didn't go anywhere but they were suddenly big with a track created by the biggest songwriting/production team in the land; how they would fare without that safety net is a whole other matter.

~~~~~

Also of some cop

Fairground Attraction: "Find My Love"

Soutar reckons this follow up to the number one hit "Perfect" is "rather basic" but I beg to differ. He only really hears guitar and bass but there's also an accordion in there too and it's a nice touch. And there's even a mandolin! Instrumentation aside, "Find My Love" is superior to its better known predecessor. I always associate it with visiting a windswept seaside town on the coast of Ireland during February half-term break. There's a photo that my dad took of the rest of us (my mum, sister and myself, as well as my aunt and cousin who were visiting from Canada) and you can see I have my headphones on. I'm listening to "Find My Love" and it's a perfect mix of location and song. Yes, it's much more typical of Fairground Attraction but that's no bad thing. Fortunately, it managed to give them another Top 10 hit but Soutar ultimately isn't wrong when it comes to the pop ride coming to an end, as we'll see soon.