West India Company: "Ave Maria (Om Ganesha)"

22 November 1984

"It all just goes to prove that you don't have to be American to have "soul" and that unlikely-sounding cross cultural experimentation can be fun."

— Dave Rimmer

Residing in Britain in the late eighties meant that I was able to experience one of the most exciting — albeit rather unsexy — Christmas number one battles. The three main contenders were Bros' double-sided "Silent Night" / "Cat Among the Pigeons", Kylie and Jason's "Especially for You" and Cliff Richard's "Mistletoe and Wine", the eventual victor. Some of the longshots did well with top five hits (Erasure's Crackers International EP, Angry Anderson's slushy Neighbours wedding theme "Suddenly", the still-oustanding "Buffalo Stance" and "Good Life" by Neneh Cherry and Inner City respectively) while others (the Reggae Philharmonic Orchestra's take on "Minnie the Moocher", Alexander O'Neal's cover of "The Christmas Song") only managed to creep into the lower end of the hit parade. While the winner and some of the also-rans remain fondly remembered to this day, few even knew at the time of some of those records that really came up short. Among those who nabbed a festive flop was George Van Dusen, an octogenarian yodeller whose fifty-year-old recording of "It's Party Time Again" was tipped as an early dark horse for a seasonal smash but who ended up getting no further than number forty-three. This modest placing, however, dwarfed the performance of a farmer and his pet pig who oinked their way through a novelty record that went absolutely nowhere (and which is so obscure that I was unable to find a YouTube clip and am going strictly off of memory).

Back in '84, just as the Christmas number one sweepstakes were really becoming a thing, this proved to be the fate of West India Company. William Hill was yet to put up betting odds but the competition was still intense. In addition to the heavy favourites — more on that next week — there was strong competition from the likes of Paul McCartney, Madonna and Paul Young (all given mixed reviews by a fussy Dave Rimmer) as well as Tears for Fears, a pre-disgraced Gary Glitter and some song or other from a movie you may have heard of from Ray Parker Jr. Plus, the Christmas season tends to give chart holdovers a second wind and this aided the prolonged sales of singles by Murray Head, Shakin' Stevens and a rebounding Stevie Wonder. Then, you have reissues of perennial favourites "I Wish It Would Be Christmas Everyday" by Wizzard and "Merry Xmas Everybody" by Slade. In this landscape, is it any wonder that a cross-cultural, interfaith, multi-genre record by a supergroup of lesser known folk (is it possible to be a supergroup if no one is particularly famous?) would come up well short of a Christmas hit?

Short of asking members Asha Bhosle, Pandit Dinesh and Stephen Luscombe, it's impossible to know if they were even attempting to crack the festive charts with "Ave Maria". Nevertheless, release a single at the tail end of the year and you're putting yourself in contention for the crown even if it's the furthest thing from your mind. The song's spiritualism and mashing up of the Virgin Mary with the God of New Beginnings, Success and Wisdom provides some seasonal warmth, wrapped up in some dreamy sythns and emerging into one of the most unusual novelty records you're likely to come across.

Novelty record? This is hardly a farmer and his pet pig oinking out a Christmas carol, is it? Certainly not but, as the group admit themselves, West India Company was meant to be a "one-off project", a sideline from Bhosle's role as India's leading playback vocalist, Dinesh's freelancing as an in-demand percussionist to add some spice to western pop and Luscombe's part as keyboardist in Blancmange, so there's at least a hint of the novelty there. The one Brit among the trio, Luscombe admitted to admiring Bholse's singing, claiming that she makes "all these pop bands look so...puny." (Was he alluding to his own organization here? He might have done well to do so given what a mess they would soon make of ABBA's remarkable "The Day Before You Came") Yet, I can't hear this and not think that they're on holiday, a group of like-minded individuals (also joined by other members of Blancmange and a newly out of work Vince Clark) having a fun little romp in the studio and creating something really good that would be destined to not go any further.

Yet, "Ave Maria" should have only been the beginning. I'm somewhat with Rimmer on this one: the track is indeed "smooth and dreamy" and it carries a spark of freshness even thirty-five years on that is undeniable. Knowing now, however, that this wouldn't be carried on deflates my enthusiasm a bit. Spiritually uplifting synth-pop with dramatic production and exquisite vocals? Yeah, more of that please. Who knows? Had they carried on, they might even have managed to snag the '85 Christmas number from Shakin' Stevens, something I plenty of people would have welcomed.

~~~~~

Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Smiley Culture: "Police Officer"

Also of some novelty — and also just in time for Christmas, although I'm it's just as coincidental. With charm and a then-unique mix of rap and Jamaican toasting, the late David Emmanuel — AKA Smiley Culture — makes light of his petty crime and drug use and constant misfortune of getting stopped by the police and spins it all into something pretty wonderful and, as Rimmer says, funny. Our Smiley is having too much fun here for us to feel sorry for him — even if he would meet his eventual end during a police raid of his home. Sad but this top twenty hit remains a fitting tribute.