4 May 1988 (with more from the world's richest, most obnoxious plasterer here)
— Loadsamoney
He came, he plastered, he got plastered, he made money. Plenty of money. Piles of cash. A tonne of the green. Enough dosh that you could burn it and flog the ash for some pretty good bob. Loadsamoney lived up to his name.
But in this exclusive took at the working class lad who raked in the moolah, a darker side has to the man has been revealed more than thirty years on.
"I loved awl the money," admits the sixty-year-old who sometimes posed as a comedian by the name of Harry Enfield, "but I never realised that there woz more t' life."
He was Loadsamoney and he lived up to the name — but a darker side has begun to emerge.
~~~~~
Loads Francis Money was born in 1961 in Harsham, a small market town in the southern English county of Sussex. His family had long struggled financially but his parents encouraged young Loads and and his older brother and sister — Notmuch and Couldyalendmesome — to pursue careers in the arts. All displayed talent for music and painting but the baby of the family gradually took a dim view of this way of life.
"My family were aw'right but they shoulda made more money", he reflects. "Notmuch was a good musician and 'e could sing well but 'e neva wrote any songs about money. Couldyalendmesome painted these nice pictures of flowers and trees and awl that stuff but no one bought 'er work. Why didn't she paint some money growing on trees or summat?"
Loadsamoney first came to prominence when he began presenting short documentaries about his life for the British TV series Friday Night Live. Thinking that no working class plasterer could ever act like that in real life, viewers initially assumed it all to be a joke. The star quickly rode into the skid by creating the comedic alter-ego Harry Enfield to further delude the populace. It wouldn't be for several years that the ruse was uncovered.
"People thought I musta been created by someone or somefink cos no one loves money that much. But I do."
His notoriety at an all-time high, he released a single called "Loadsamoney (Doin' Up the House)", an obvious ode to his one true love and a record that was filled with samples.
"There was a lot of that 'ouse music at the time and this bloke I was workin' wif said we should use samples so we didn't 'ave to record as much", he explains. "I said we should 'ave that ABBA song called "Money, Money Money" which 'ad been my favourite song 'til we did "Loadsamoney"".
The single did well ("but it didn't sell enough!") but a follow up never emerged. What happened?
"We 'ad another record ready called "Loadsmoremoney"", the plasterer says, bitterly. "But this time I insisted that we charge a hundred quid a copy so I could make more money. I wanted to do that with the first record but they said no. Anyway, we did the second song which is even betta than the first one cos it's like Mozart but without all that classical rubbish and it's like The Beatles without all that love, love, love stuff. They said the record didn't sell but I think those wankers never put it out."
Some considered him to be a product of Thatcherism but he isn't too sure. "She wanted to let people buy their council flats but they shoulda bought a real 'ouse in Essex if they 'ad more money. She also let those blokes at the bank do whateva they wanted to do wif my money but I don't trust that lot."
It was also around this time that Labour leader Neil Kinnock described Tory policies as being part of the "Loadsamoney economy", a term that flattered Loads but one that he, again, took issue with.
"Them Tories coulda made more money 'ad they been like me," he boasts. "An' that Kinnock bloke, 'e wanted to 'elp the NHS but if you got more money then you can get your own health and medicine and nurses. I always wondered why Labour wasn't about labouring to get more money!"
His time in the media spotlight faded but Loadsamoney kept going and the more he plastered the more he cashed in. Contemporaries diversified but he stayed with what he knew. The double-glazing fad came and went but there were always more homes needing a fix up.
Today, he is better off than ever but he admits to feeling unfulfilled. Three wives have come and gone, friends have largely parted ways and he is now mostly forgotten by the public. He lives alone with only his vast wealth to keep him company. Does he have any regrets?
"Just one," he says pensively. "I wish I'd made more money."
~~~~~
Also of some cop
Poison: "Nothing but a Good Time"
One of Loadsamoney's greatest rivalries was with American metal band Poison. Loadsa took issue with them wanting nothing but "ladies [sic] and wine" thinking they should have aspired to champagne instead. When contacted for this article, frontman Bret Michaels had no comment but a representative for the group said that they had nothing but respect for Loadsamoney and that they aspired to a similar lifestyle. Scholars believe that the rift developed because of their parallel lives, that they were too similar. Fans around the world were forced to choose: fun or money? But as Loadsamoney would say, "you'll 'ave more fun if you 'ave more money".
