— Ian Cranna
I teach at a university here in South Korea that was once notable for having members of a successful K-pop group on scholarship. (I wouldn't quite go so far as to call them 'students' given that they were seldom seen on campus apart from the school festival every autumn they were required to perform at) They were popular with the student body but the foreign teaching staff didn't think too much of them, especially after member Lee Gi-kwang appeared on a Korean TV comedy program in blackface and a curly wig, chomping on a big piece of watermelon. Little was said at the time — although it would later be cited as an example of racism tarnishing K-pop — and I am not aware of him ever apologising for it but I was always hoping he'd eventually get what was coming to him. (Of course he never did but they would all eventually have their degrees revoked for never having done any actual school work so maybe there's something to that karma thing after all)
I bring up this anecdote so as to introduce the one foul element to "Hip-Hop-Bommi-Bop": its video. With the members of Die Toten Hosen blackening up as cannibalistic natives about to devour Freddy Love, I'll grudgingly admit that it probably does visually communicate the song's fish-out-of-water status even if they could have done so in far less offensive fashion. (They doubled down for live appearances with similar Jolson-like visages though free of the primitives-cooking-round-a-giant-steaming-pot narrative) Now, of course, it may not have caused an outcry in mid-eighties West Germany and the Totes may not have known they what they were doing (ignorance being a common excuse for racism though it must be said that it's hard to imagine how crude stereotypes and vulgar imagery couldn't be taken the "wrong" way). For what it's worth, the African-American Fab 5 Freddy doesn't appear bothered by the actions of his collaborators even if it's safe to assume that he would have preferred they remain as Ayran as ever.
So, don't bother with the video and just take in the music which is absolutely brilliant. Die Toten Hosen were a bunch of snotty punks from Düsseldorf who'd recently had a hit with the German drinking song "Eisgekühlter Bommerlunder", which starts off like all good (and, to be sure, plenty of bad) folksy, sea shanties before quickly morphing into an absurd racket of a helium-voiced "singer" repeating the chorus at a faster and faster pace. It proved popular with their cult following in Germany but perhaps they correctly deduced that its appeal would go over the heads of audiences not of the Teutonic persuasion. They then went about drafting in a heavy hitter on the New York hip hop scene and made a virtue out of foreigners not getting the whole Toten Hosen shtick — and perhaps this is why it succeeds at transcending novelty pop since I am forced to enjoy this in spite of the gags that mean nothing to me.
Bearing no resemblance to the original recording its based on, Fab 5 Freddy (aka Freddy Love here, since the Totes decided to rechristen themselves 'The Incredible T*H* Scratchers' their guest star might as well take on a pseudonym of his own) is all over this, adding a professionalism that these misfit German punks didn't have. There's a structure and a tune present that previously failed to appear, all the while retaining the "Eisgekühlter..." charm. Freddy, though, is from the old school and there's plenty of D.I.Y. hip hop amateurism that meshes well with his blackface chums. His was the kind of rap that one can easily picture youths in Harlem doing to impress their buddies: the rhymes are often simplistic and telegraphed, the meter oh so predictable but it feels improvised and charged with the zest of someone who could lay down verse after verse like a modern day jazz cutter. It's difficult to say just what Campino and Andi and the rest are contributing here, though, as Ian Cranna points out, that guitar is perfect, crunchy and simplistic like all good punk rock but with touches of Chic-like funk jangle. The percussion may well be their doing too but it could just as easily be programmed. Maybe the Toten Hosen quartet were there simply for some rock 'n' roll spirit, useless bandmembers being essential to punk and rap alike.
It's hard to say if this had much of an influence on the future of rap rock and, in particular, Run DMC's celebrated cover of Aerosmith's "Walk This Way" since (a) "Hip-Hop-Bommi-Bop" remained a curio that doesn't appear to have made much of an impact over in the US and (b) Run, DMC and the other one already had this cross-genre merging in mind. It's actually rather fascinating to picture how it might have turned out had they waited a few years to record and release "Hip-Hop-Bommi-Bop". In keeping with the original's mandate to repeat the "Eisgekühlter Bommerlunder" refrain as quickly as possible, it would have worked well with one of those rapid-fire choppers like Busta Rhymes or Twista that were a pretty big deal in the early nineties. More importantly, they may have also ditched the blackface nonsense in favour of having the members of Die Toten Hosen act like the toughest bunch of white homeboys imaginable. Blackface might be offensive and unfunny but the whitest people on Earth acting as if they're black? It's never not funny.
~~~~~
Also Reviewed This Fortnight
Bronski Beat: "Smalltown Boy"
One of the most charming aspects of eighties pop is the tendency of acts to disguise issues for the purposes of mass consumption. Kids could hear the superb "Smalltown Boy" and not clue in to just what Jimmy Sommerville was on about and then, if they were anything like me, not have a problem with homosexuality when eventually confronted with it. Thus, a song about alienated and unwanted gay youth could be about alienated and unwanted youth. None of this should diminish the song's standing as a vital gay-rights anthem, I just wish to point out that I'm fond of being able to relate to something that doesn't have my life in mind. Either way, "Smalltown Boy" is ace and a great introduction to Sommerville's powerfully alienated falsetto — and something he never really topped.
I teach at a university here in South Korea that was once notable for having members of a successful K-pop group on scholarship. (I wouldn't quite go so far as to call them 'students' given that they were seldom seen on campus apart from the school festival every autumn they were required to perform at) They were popular with the student body but the foreign teaching staff didn't think too much of them, especially after member Lee Gi-kwang appeared on a Korean TV comedy program in blackface and a curly wig, chomping on a big piece of watermelon. Little was said at the time — although it would later be cited as an example of racism tarnishing K-pop — and I am not aware of him ever apologising for it but I was always hoping he'd eventually get what was coming to him. (Of course he never did but they would all eventually have their degrees revoked for never having done any actual school work so maybe there's something to that karma thing after all)
I bring up this anecdote so as to introduce the one foul element to "Hip-Hop-Bommi-Bop": its video. With the members of Die Toten Hosen blackening up as cannibalistic natives about to devour Freddy Love, I'll grudgingly admit that it probably does visually communicate the song's fish-out-of-water status even if they could have done so in far less offensive fashion. (They doubled down for live appearances with similar Jolson-like visages though free of the primitives-cooking-round-a-giant-steaming-pot narrative) Now, of course, it may not have caused an outcry in mid-eighties West Germany and the Totes may not have known they what they were doing (ignorance being a common excuse for racism though it must be said that it's hard to imagine how crude stereotypes and vulgar imagery couldn't be taken the "wrong" way). For what it's worth, the African-American Fab 5 Freddy doesn't appear bothered by the actions of his collaborators even if it's safe to assume that he would have preferred they remain as Ayran as ever.
So, don't bother with the video and just take in the music which is absolutely brilliant. Die Toten Hosen were a bunch of snotty punks from Düsseldorf who'd recently had a hit with the German drinking song "Eisgekühlter Bommerlunder", which starts off like all good (and, to be sure, plenty of bad) folksy, sea shanties before quickly morphing into an absurd racket of a helium-voiced "singer" repeating the chorus at a faster and faster pace. It proved popular with their cult following in Germany but perhaps they correctly deduced that its appeal would go over the heads of audiences not of the Teutonic persuasion. They then went about drafting in a heavy hitter on the New York hip hop scene and made a virtue out of foreigners not getting the whole Toten Hosen shtick — and perhaps this is why it succeeds at transcending novelty pop since I am forced to enjoy this in spite of the gags that mean nothing to me.
Bearing no resemblance to the original recording its based on, Fab 5 Freddy (aka Freddy Love here, since the Totes decided to rechristen themselves 'The Incredible T*H* Scratchers' their guest star might as well take on a pseudonym of his own) is all over this, adding a professionalism that these misfit German punks didn't have. There's a structure and a tune present that previously failed to appear, all the while retaining the "Eisgekühlter..." charm. Freddy, though, is from the old school and there's plenty of D.I.Y. hip hop amateurism that meshes well with his blackface chums. His was the kind of rap that one can easily picture youths in Harlem doing to impress their buddies: the rhymes are often simplistic and telegraphed, the meter oh so predictable but it feels improvised and charged with the zest of someone who could lay down verse after verse like a modern day jazz cutter. It's difficult to say just what Campino and Andi and the rest are contributing here, though, as Ian Cranna points out, that guitar is perfect, crunchy and simplistic like all good punk rock but with touches of Chic-like funk jangle. The percussion may well be their doing too but it could just as easily be programmed. Maybe the Toten Hosen quartet were there simply for some rock 'n' roll spirit, useless bandmembers being essential to punk and rap alike.
It's hard to say if this had much of an influence on the future of rap rock and, in particular, Run DMC's celebrated cover of Aerosmith's "Walk This Way" since (a) "Hip-Hop-Bommi-Bop" remained a curio that doesn't appear to have made much of an impact over in the US and (b) Run, DMC and the other one already had this cross-genre merging in mind. It's actually rather fascinating to picture how it might have turned out had they waited a few years to record and release "Hip-Hop-Bommi-Bop". In keeping with the original's mandate to repeat the "Eisgekühlter Bommerlunder" refrain as quickly as possible, it would have worked well with one of those rapid-fire choppers like Busta Rhymes or Twista that were a pretty big deal in the early nineties. More importantly, they may have also ditched the blackface nonsense in favour of having the members of Die Toten Hosen act like the toughest bunch of white homeboys imaginable. Blackface might be offensive and unfunny but the whitest people on Earth acting as if they're black? It's never not funny.
~~~~~
Also Reviewed This Fortnight
Bronski Beat: "Smalltown Boy"
One of the most charming aspects of eighties pop is the tendency of acts to disguise issues for the purposes of mass consumption. Kids could hear the superb "Smalltown Boy" and not clue in to just what Jimmy Sommerville was on about and then, if they were anything like me, not have a problem with homosexuality when eventually confronted with it. Thus, a song about alienated and unwanted gay youth could be about alienated and unwanted youth. None of this should diminish the song's standing as a vital gay-rights anthem, I just wish to point out that I'm fond of being able to relate to something that doesn't have my life in mind. Either way, "Smalltown Boy" is ace and a great introduction to Sommerville's powerfully alienated falsetto — and something he never really topped.
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