— William Shaw
ARE KIDS INTO MANIC STREET PREACHERS
OR ARE THEY HORRIFIED BY THEM?
Hailing from Monmouthshire (it's in Wales, fact fiends), Manic Street Preachers are the latest group of guitar gods set to conquer the charts with their latest single "Stay Beautiful". But we here at Smash Hits haven't the faintest idea quite what to make of them. Aren't they just an old hat rock group? Aren't styles like metal and punk meant for dinosaurs? And who dresses like these four blokes? Bitz has admitted defeat and we have found some youngsters to guide us through a band that is either (a) the future of music, (b) the sort of thing everyone will forget about by the end of the year or (c) somewhere in between a and b. Let's see if they can edify this bunch of old codgers.
Joanne (15), Walton-on-the-Naze
"Ooh, I like this lot. I think I saw them on the telly last month. The singer's dead dishy, ain't he? I'm glad he's not one of those blokes who works out too much and has lots of muscles. I like slim guys. This song's good but I don't think it'll be a hit. I don't think it's pop enough for the charts. If they do some slushy love song then they'll have a hit but I won't like them as much."
Grant (16), London
"They're all right, I suppose. I reckon they're trying not to be clever but they all went to uni so they must know more than they want us to think. I do like what they're about but the records just don't connect with me. It would be nice if they had a laugh from time to time. The best indie bands are those that have a lot of fun when they're playing. I prefer The Wonder Stuff."
Natasha (15), Hull
"I've never heard of them. It's not really my thing but I guess it's all right. You should ask my older brother, he might know about them. They don't shock me though. There's some people in the town square who are much scarier than this bunch. I wish indie bands weren't such snobs. I bet they're always slagging off Kylie but they love miserable groups like the Inspiral Carpets. Indie groups are all the same."
Tracy (11), Poole
"Do you have the new Chesney Hawkes? I got his tape for my birthday. My friend Jane went to see his concert but my mum wouldn't let me go because we had to go visit my nan in Reading. (Bitz puts the Manics on but Tracy isn't paying attention) Chesney has a sister called Keely and she's dead nice too. Did you know that his brother is also his drummer? (Bitz admits that we do know this fact before we direct the conversation towards the band that is playing) Could you turn that down a bit? I want to sing "The One and Only" for you." (Bitz proceeds to turn the Manics up to full volume)
Steve (14), Ambleside
"Is the drummer a girl?"
Francis (18), Leicester
"They sure put a lot of themselves into such empty material, don't they? I mean, some people I know think their lyrics are really good and moving but I think they just put a lot of passion into them. Don't get me wrong, their songs are exciting and I'm sure they're good live, it's just that it's not as profound or radical as they'd like you to think it is. Other people have said this all before and a lot of them have said it better as well. They do have some skill so they might get better. There again, we'll probably have forgotten all about them in a year from now. Not like Ned's Atomic Dustbin, they're built to last!"
~~~~~
A MESS OF EYELINER 'N' SPRAYPAINT!
Those are the tools the Manic Street Preachers use for designing their famous handmade t-shirts. (Well, maybe not so much the eyeliner) And this is your chance to win one! Impress your mates! Be the envy of your neighbourhood playground! Make your granny nervous! Manics James, Richey, Nicky and Sean have each designed a one-of-a-kind shirt that they have kindly donated to your favourite pop mag (ie this one). They won't reveal exactly what will be written on each shirt but they promise it will be something like FASCINATING (a good 'un!) or CHARMING (another winner!) or UNWELL (uh, not so good) or ATROPHY (?????). The band have also promised not to use any naughty language either, much to the relief of grannies the world over.
To win a custom Manics spraypaint shirt, answer the following question: what did Richey carve into his arm as a message to people who questioned him, (a) 4TUNE, (b) 4REAL or (c) 4TOPS. Answers on a Cornflake packet to: Smash Hits Manic T-Shirt Competition, 147 Holkless Rd, Orton Randgate, Peterborough PE2 SNB. Get 'em in by August 19 or you'll have to make your own bloomin' t-shirt!
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Also Reviewed This Fortnight
The Shamen: "Move Any Mountain"
Simon (23), Croydon
"Nah, I don't wanna listen to no Manic Street Peaceniks. Why would you want to play a guitar when you can turn on a synth and let them do all the work. I got a band with me mate Jez. We're called Toe Jam on Toast but we used to be called Blu Tack Soul. Have you heard of us? (No, I don't think we've had the pleasure) We do big beats. I wanna sample some beats but I don't know how to work this sampler thing so I just do the sound of those beats meself, like this: umph, umph, umph, umph, umph, umph (Simon keeps the umph's going for much, much longer). Good, ain't it? My favourite record these days is this one called "Move Any Mountain" by The Shamed Men. It's got some solid beats. Umph, umph, umph... (Oh do stop it!) "I can move, move, move any mountain...": I'm gonna read those words at my wedding some day. (Er, cheers for that Simon. We at Bitz are looking forward to writing about the Toe Jams one day. Might want to give the name a rethink though mate)
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