Depeche Mode: "See You"

21 January 1982

"If it doesn't make Number One, I'll write and complain."

— Mark Ellen

Letters

Smash Hits Letters

52-55 Carnaby Street

London W1V 1PF

£5 record token for the viewer who we take pity on the most.

~~~~~

OH LOUISE, won't you smile at me

Like that time in R.E.?

Miss Wickens spoke with scorn

Though she seem rather forlorn

Telling us to compose our own private creed

(Mistaking me perhaps for the Venerable Bede)

Then you shot me a glance

And my heart did a dance

But ever since then you just look away

Though my eyes, they refuse to stray.

You act as if you simply don't care

Of my heart, you just aren't aware

And that's why Louise, I really must speak

Because my will goes ever so weak

I swear I won't touch

I just wish to be with you so much

And now all I want is to see you again

Though I know not where or when

Maybe it will be over half-term break

When you're out for a stroll 'round Appleby Lake

Then you'll pop over to mine on Galveston Road

We'll listen to Altered Images and Depeche Mode

Maybe you'll even smile at me

Like you did that time in R.E.

Graham D., Cheltenham

Are you sure this Louise of your's doesn't prefer other groups? Groups that might make her smile more than once? Groups that do not make her look away? Groups that she'll happily spend half-hols with? Have a record token so you might impress her more. Just a bit of advice from one lonely git to another.

~~~~~

Q: IF THE members of Depeche Mode became members of MI6, what would they call themselves?

A: Basildon Bond.

Lucy, Torquay

~~~~~

WHAT A nice surprise to see the newly three-piece Depeche Mode on the cover of the latest issue of Smash Hits! My delight only grew when I saw that the wonderful Mr. Mark Ellen named their latest hit See You as his single of the week! I suppose I ought to be grateful that the Hits has finally started to recognise the abilities of Basildon's finest but I can't help but feel a slight sense of anticlimax: what took you so bloomin' long?

Depeche Mode have been gradually gaining momentum over the last year or so and it has been disappointing that the music press has ignored them up until now in favour of Haircut One Hundred and The Police. What do they have that the Mode doesn't? Do third form students jot down Sting's lyrics in the margins of their notebooks in the middle of geography class? Do the Haircuts inspire a dreamscape world of art, groovy people and philosophy? I think not!

Good job but try harder with emerging acts next time.

Nancy, Braintree

We imagine that Haircut 100 and Bucks Fizz inspire a love of pop music in people, as do Depeche Mode. But our apologies nonetheless. The next time synth-noodlers from an English New Town emerge from the shadows we'll be there. Count on it!

~~~~~

WELL DONE, Mark Ellen. You had so many good records to choose from. You had The Jam. Spandau Ballet. Soft Cell. Japan. Bow Wow Wow. I would've even accepted Hazel O'Connor for god's sake! But to pick those talentless turds Depeche Mode? I'll admit that "Just Can't Get Enough" was all right but all the pop flash they had has departed along with Vince Clarke. I can't believe you'd praise something so dull and lacking in merit. If they're light years ahead then I'd hate to see what's in our future. Thankfully they've had their last hit and we won't be hearing from them again, you watch. Write in and complain about that!

Richard Skegness

We'll hold you to that, Rich. Send us a crate of Skegness Rock to the address above if the Deps do manage to eek out one more hit.

~~~~~

I notice that Depeche Mode's latest single has the line "I know five years is a long time and that times change". With that in mind I thought I share my predictions about what the pop world will be like for them in 1987.

1) Vince Clarke begs his old band to bring him back. They only agree but he is relegated to being a junior member as punishment. His lyrics are even tweer than ever.

2) Andy Fletcher solves the problem of their dull live shows by frolicking about on stage like Heidi. Depeche Mode's popularity goes through the roof but he can never show his face in Basildon again.

3) Martin Gore discovers that he is indeed the genius Vince pegged him to be. His genius is for knitting. He revolutionizes the Irish wool jumper industry.

4) Dave Gahan becomes an even bigger pop pin-up than he already is. This, however, leads him more in the direction of pure pop which makes the group's old audience cross. Sensibly, he chooses the adoration of girls over students.

5) This Alan Wilder bloke eventually becomes a full-time member (even he has seniority over Vince!) but he quickly becomes the one no one knows anything about. Mums are over Britain reckon he's "dishy".

Dillon, Cambridge

~~~~~

DID YOU know that if you rearrange the letters of Depeche Mode you get 'Chop Me Dee Dee'. What a violent image.

Terry, Arundel

So what? If you do the same for Kim Wilde you get 'Wide Milk'. Toyah turns into 'Ya Hot'. ABC becomes 'Cab'. Duran Duran...'And And Ru Ru"? We've been struggling for an anagram for Dexys Midnight Runners. Suggestions to the address above. A five quid record token to anyone who can manage it.

~~~~~

Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Soft Cell: "Say Hello Wave Goodbye"

SOFT CELL'S records ever since "Tainted Love" have been missing something, haven't they? It's almost as if they've been incomplete. With this in mind, I have decide to try to improve on "Say Hello Wave Goodbye". Mark Ellen thinks the words are up to much and I think he's on to something. Starting with The Jam and Elvis Costello and working backwards from there, I'm going to take the lyrics of other songs and see if they fit better. Eventually I'll find something deep and poetic that works and helps to make it into a much better song. Then I'll send it to Marc Almond and Dave Norris, If they don't like it, maybe I'll record it instead. Who knows? Maybe I'll be in the pages of Smash Hits someday!

David G., Sale, Cheshire

We at Smash Hits salute your efforts David. The songs of Weller and Costello will be good starting off points but you may want to try someone a little older. The late John Lennon perhaps. Or Ian Anderson from ancient progers Jethro Tull. Maybe Ulster shouter Van Morrison even...

(Click here for earlier correspondence from ver "kids". They're largely the same only not as good. Not unlike if you compare Soft Cell's "Say Hello..." to David G.'s way off in the future)

Bob Dylan: "Lenny Bruce"

17 September 1981

"There can be few people in any walk of life who are getting a worse press than Bob Dylan. No-one ever has a good word for him; mainly, it seems, because of his religious views."

— Tim de Lisle

Bob Dylan has spent the bulk of his sixty years as a recording artist being praised as a genius spokesperson of his generation while also being trashed for changes in style, unexpected creative u-turns and the odd time he misspoke. Some of his fiercest critics also happen to be some of his biggest fans. Part of getting into the man involves dealing with some ghastly compositions, poor production work and an acceptance of the fact that there's no way to like all of it.

So, Tim de Lisle's observation about Dylan's evangelical Christianity being the main source of people's derision to his Bobness is missing something. Had he not found the Lord some three years earlier, fans would've surely found something else to howl with protest over. Had he not subjected secular audiences to nothing but devotional material then the press would've found other avenues with which to crap all over him. Dylan couldn't win except for the fact that he was Dylan and had been winning all along.

It may not have been apparent at the time but Dylan was moving away from Christianity by 1982. Shot of Love was the third of his religious trilogy but it was the first to include material with no connection to Jesus. I previously wrote in this space that it was his evangelical material that was much more convincing — with, as I have said before, "Every Grain of Sand" the  stand-out — and I stand by this but with a minor caveat: in "Lenny Bruce" he expresses a sacredness hitherto unheard since his conversion.

I'm still not a big fan of this song. I hated its inane lyrics like "never did get any Golden Globe awards, never made it to Synanon" then and time and maturity haven't warmed me to them in the last four years. I observed that the "whole thing reads like random jottings" and I suppose I wasn't wrong considering he admitted to having written it in five minutes. It's safe to say that the Bard didn't put his usual amount of care into this piece.

Still, the gospel influence makes it one of the more devotional works of the era. If Dylan did achieve peace and contentment after joining the Vineyard Movement he didn't express it through the medium of his songs. His passion had returned but he seemed angrier than ever. It was only when paying tribute to a foul-mouthed, drug-addicted Jewish comedian that he could demonstrate a loving, charitable side that, notably, he seemed incapable of giving even to Christ.

Which just goes to show that while Christianity was able to rescue him from the depths of despair and self-loathing, it wasn't destined to be a long-term priority in his life. It was at around the time of Shot of Love that Dylan began to re-introduce old favourites of the non-devotional variety to his live shows. "Lenny Bruce" represents him trying to reclaim that same territory in his freshly recorded work. To make it about a figure who was at his peak while the young "Song and Dance Man" was on the rise is of no small significance.

But who is he alluding to with the line "more of an outlaw than you ever were"? Is he attacking himself for being a middle-class boy who dressed up, affected an accent and fooled the patrons of every New York City cafe by pretending to be a rebel from the old west? Even if he had once been an outlaw in his youth, he was now over forty, a millionaire and had been cramming Jesus down the throats of everyone who paid good money to see him: hardly the kind of behaviour befitting a fugitive from the law. 

And this is where we begin to see a return to the Dylan of old. He had always run away from the 'voice of a generation' tag with songs such as "All I Really Want to Do", "Mr Tambourine Man" and "My Back Pages" (it's a cliche I know but my interest in Dylan is intrinsically linked to The Byrds) address his desire to be regarded as an artist rather than as a spokesperson. With "Lenny Bruce" he informs his audience — a good twenty years too late if should be noted — that the real deal had been there all along while they had been following a false idol. Bruce better represented all those things that they had seen in Dylan. "It Ain't Me Babe" was something he tried explaining to his fans all the way back in the sixties; and now in the eighties he was gently reminding them that it still wasn't him.

~~~~~

Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Depche Mode: "Just Can't Get Enough"

A supposed classic of the eighties but I'm not sure what it has done to deserve this status beyond the annoyingly memorable chorus. Then again, de Lisle doesn't consider it to be as memorable as predecessor hit "New Life" (how does that one go again?). Vince Clarke's final single with the group (he must not have had his imminent departure in mind when he composed it), the Basildonians were getting the remnants of pure pop out of their systems so they were able to move towards darker material in the years ahead, which would be a welcome change. Leaving their old sound behind to those with a better grasp of it was for the best since repeating the words 'just can't get enough' ad nauseam does not a great pop song make. As Patrick Humphries famously summed it up in his review in the Melody Maker, "I can, you will".

(Click here to read the original review)

Depeche Mode: "Strangelove"

22 April 1987

"This is very much their style, isn't it?"

— Gary Numan

• Hi everyone! My name is Vince and I'm 14 years old. I'm looking for pop music fans to write to. I like the Pet Shop Boys, The Cure, The Smiths, New Order, Depeche Mode, Tears for Fears, Gary Numan and The Style Council. Anyone out there interested? If so please drop me a line at 116 Lister Rd., The Mumbles, Swansea, DMF 101.

~~~~~

Dear Vince,

Hi! My name is Paul and I am almost 12. I saw your message in RSVP in the last issue of Smash Hits. I think we like a lot of the same music!

I'm from Canada but I'm currently living in Essex with my family for a year. We're going back home in a few months and I would like to have lots of friends in the UK to keep in touch with and talk about music. I hope you don't mind having a penpal in another country!

So I also really like the Pet Shop Boys. I got their tape for Christmas and it's really good. I keep listening to the first side and then rewinding back to the start. I also really like The Cure and New Order. My sister has the Style Council tape and we listen to that a lot too. I don't know much about the Smiths but I think they did that song Panic last year, right? I liked it but my sister didn't. She also really likes Tears for Fears but I just think they're okay. So why do you like Depeche Mode so much? Don't all their songs sound the same? And who's Gary Numan?

I hope you'll write back. Take care!

Paul

~~~~~

Dear Paul,

You're from Canada? That's cool. What's pop music like there? Do you like Bryan Adams? He's from Canada, right?

I'm glad to hear you like a lot of the same music as me but it's all right if we have different opinions. Maybe we can convince each other to listen to some different stuff.

You might be a bit young for Depeche Mode. I'm in third year and they have a lot of songs that are about some dark thoughts that people my age have. I know what you mean about their songs being kind of samey but they used to have more variety. Try listening closely to the words, there's some deep meaning in their lyrics.

It sounds like your sister has good taste in music too. I have an older brother who got me into music. Ask her what she thinks of Depeche Mode. I notice that you're living in Basildon: did you know that's where they're from?

You've never heard of Gary Numan? He used to be really popular. I think if you like a lot of stuff with synthesizers then you'll like him.

Until next time mate!

V.

~~~~~

Hi Vince! How have you been? The term is almost over and so is our year in Basildon. We're going to take a coach trip of Europe soon and then we'll be back in Canada soon after that. So what are you going to do this summer?

Yeah, Bryan Adams is from Canada. I used to like him. My mum got me the tape of his song "Diana" which I think is about Princess Diana. He says he loves her but I don't think he does. Do you know his song "Summer of '69"? It's pretty good. I don't really like his songs anymore though.

So I found a copy of "Strangelove" by Depeche Mode at the local Woolworths in an old box with a bunch of other singles. It was 50p so I thought I'd buy it and follow your advice. I think I saw them do it on Top of the Pops a while ago. I've been playing it a lot at home and now the rest of my family is sick of it!

The song is pretty good but what does it all mean? I don't understand why he wants to give pain to his girlfriend. If I tried to give pain to any of the girls in my class they'd thump me and go crying to the teacher!

No one here in Basildon seems to care that Depeche Mode are from here. One lad in my class told me they went to our school in Billericay but I don't believe him. He also told me that he knows the the singer from Level 42.

I asked my sister about Gary Numan and she doesn't know anything about him either. I wonder if I can find out more about him when I get back to Canada.

Have a great summer!

Paul

~~~~~

Dear Vince,

Hi mate! Sorry, I forgot to give you my address in Canada. Did you try to write to me in Basildon?

I've now been back here for 2 months and I miss Britain. My friends here really like looking at pictures of cars but I think it's boring. They also hate all my music because they all like rap or metal. I really miss my mates in Basildon and Billericay and I also miss Smash Hits and Top of the Pops. Most of the music magazines here are so serious. There are some good music video shows on here but they don't seem as important as TOTP. The number one over here is "La Bamba" by a group called Los Lobos. Have you heard of them? It's being used in a movie about an older singer who died. It's okay but I'm already sick of it being played everywhere.

I'm spending a lot of time on my own in the school library. I found a music book called The Rock Book which I borrowed. It has short bios of different groups and singers and lots of photos. I was looking at it and it has information about most of our favourite bands! I was really surprised. I liked reading about Depeche Mode and New Order. And they even have info about Gary Numan! I'm really interested in listening to some of his songs!

So, how's being back at school? You're in fourth year now, right? The only good thing about being in school here is that I don't have to wear a uniform anymore. I like wearing jeans to school.

I hope you're well!

Paul

~~~~~

Paul! How are you doing mate? It's good to hear from you! I was worried I might not hear from you again!

I'm sorry to hear that returning to Canada isn't going well. It sounds like you need some new friends. My mates from junior school all became a bunch of prats when we moved up to our comprehensive and I was rid of them all by the end of first year. Try to find some people who like the same music if you can — or at least people who have more interesting hobbies than looking at a bunch of bloody cars!

But one of the nice things about music is that it's there when we're lonely. When I'm feeling down, I really like having the Pet Shop Boys and Cure and Depeche Mode on.

Wow, you lot in Canada are behind. Los Lobos were at number one here back in August. We just had a month of this bloke called Rick Astley at the top with Never Gonna Give You Up. I predict people will forget all about it in the future. But the new number one is called "Pump Up the Volume" by MARRS and it's brill! Have you heard it? I hope it comes over to Canada soon, I think you'll love it as much as I do.

Gotta go now. Top of the Pops is on!

V.

~~~~~

Hey Vince. So, I've been trying to find some people to talk music with but it's not going well. Mr. Coutts, the art teacher at my school, lets us play tapes during class time and I put on The Style Council. Everyone in the class demanded it be turned off by the second song. Then, Mr. Coutts said that he liked it and that made matters worse. Everyone says I have the worst taste in music in the entire school.

I've been feeling down a lot and I've been playing that Depeche Mode song quite a bit. I still don't really know what it's about but I think I understand what they mean about wanting someone to take your pain away. But don't you think it's strange that you want to listen to depressing music when you're feeling depressed? Don't we end up feeling more depressed?

I haven't heard this "Pump Up the Volume" song yet but I'll try to remember it. I'm really looking forward to hearing it.

My one good news is that I've joined a band with my friend Ethan who lives just down my street. He's a year younger than me but he and some of his school friends have had this group for a year already. We met just yesterday so I could talk to everyone. We want to play everything except for no country and no rap. We also have lots of song titles. Ethan's all have just one word which I think is dead boring. Jeff is the leader and is trying to save up for a drum kit and I'm going to try to get a bass guitar soon. Maybe I'll send you a tape of our stuff someday!

I hope it was a good TOTP. I miss that show!

Yours,

Paul

~~~~~

Hi Paul. I know what you mean about depressing music but it's like they're singing directly to me and they understand what I'm going through even if no one else gives a toss. You're right about "Strangelove", it's all about wanting someone to be there to take that pain away. There aren't any girls around who'll look twice at me at the moment but until then there's loads of good records to help me through.

It's good to hear you've joined a band with the lads down the road from you. My mate Steve asked me to join his group a while ago and I'm still thinking about it. I want to be the singer but they've got a girl on vocals and they want me to play keyboards. I might do it, I don't know.

How are the charts in Canada these days? There's this terrible song by this group called T'Pau at number one now. They aren't popular in Canada too, are they?

By the way, I met a girl at the roller rink last week and she's a big fan of Depeche Mode too! She likes lots of good music in fact. See? There are girls out there for lads like us! (Though she doesn't like Gary Numan...)

Rock on Tommy!

Vince

~~~~~

Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Latin Quarter: "Nomzamo (One People One Cause)"

• Pop veteran who's down the dumper looking to rant further. Greetings. I was once a pop giant who fell on hard times but I'm still active and keen to discuss many of my passions: myself, everything that's wrong with the state of current pop, aviation, etc. I enjoy making value judgements about others but bitterly resent it when they're directed at me — but at least I'm honest. I don't like giving my money away and also wonder why those who do don't just give it all away. I think that being commercial is the best way to get through to as many people as possible even if that will eventually fly in the face of my eventual courtship of Trent Reznor and my status as a godfather of industrial rock. I don't stand for anything and I am convinced that there's something seriously wrong with those who do. I like myself, Duran Duran, Depeche Mode and Nick Kamen and I hate Latin Quarter, The Smiths, Talking Heads, Beastie Boys and anything to do with Paul Weller. Write to me if you're a Numanoid in need of direction: 37 Replica St., Stanwell, Surrey, AFE 818.

Depeche Mode: "Love in Itself • 2"

29 September 1983

"It's a very moody production and, hang on, did I hear someone playing guitar in there? And some (gasp) real piano? Guys are you OK...? Guys...?"

— Lenny Henry

Dear Mr. Henry,

Yeah, I know how you feel, mate. These singles aren't much fun, are they? Even the good ones. And, hey, I choose to do this blog every bloody week, you got roped in by Mark Ellen when you had far better things to do like Red Wedge tours and being at the forefront of alternative comedy and being a presence in the culture even when you were on hiatus from the telly. I respect your decision to bring in some chums to give you a hand, so much so that I'm taking a page from your "book" as they return to aid this humble blogger.

~~~~~

So, Depeche Mode: what do we reckon?

Delbert Wilkins: They're kinda uptight. They need to calm it down, let the tunes surround them, inhabit them. They're forcing it.

Winston: They're deep, ain't they? They got some heavy ideas.

Delbert: Shut up, Winston! That's rubbish. They're trying way too hard to sound like they've got something profound to say.

I know, right? When I was in high school I knew people who would print DM lyrics in their school exercise books with quotations from "Blasphemous Rumours" as some kind of motivational tool. I liked them, I had a well-worn cassette of Violator but most of their songs didn't mean a whole lot to me. Especially after "Walking in My Shoes" came out which was such a blatant re-write of "World in My Eyes": you can't have a whole lot to say if you have to keep saying the same thing.

Elfreda, the Radio 1 tealady: They look like lovely lads, don't they? I'm not sure I like those leather straps the blond one's wearing; if he's not careful, he could be sporting some of that horrible fetish wear before long.

Not to worry, miss, they really got into Armani suits soon after this.

Elfreda: What sort of horns are those three playing?

Delbert: They're not horns. It's a synth.

Elfreda: A what?

Winston: A synthesizer. A keyboard that has been computer programmed to...

Delbert: Shut up, Winston! It's a sound they created to mimic horns.

Elfreda: Why on earth would they do that? Can't they just play them?

Apparently not. They do a pretty bang up job pretending to though, don't they? Speaking of which, Lenny seemed pleasantly surprised about the real guitar and piano but what if they, too, were produced artificially? Does it take anything away from the song?

Julie: No, of course not. They're so deliciously talented!

Simon: Don't mind her. She fancies both the singer and him in the black shirt with the ginger hair.

Also not a fan of the leather straps, eh? Well, let's get this back on track. Lyrically what do you make of it?

Delbert: The singer makes the words believable. He doesn't put gut-wrenching emotion into his singing which gives extra gravitas to the song.

Winston: He didn't write the song, did he? Maybe that helps him keep his distance. If you're too close to your material, then...

Delbert: Shut up, Winston! The words are all right. What do you have against them?

Me? Nothing. I just can't take them seriously. They use big words which makes everyone think they really have something important to say. And they repeat themselves.

Delbert: Sounds like they're not the only ones guilty of that.

Fair enough. But they're just a pop group like any other. What makes them so special?

Delbert: So, is that why we're here today? To explain Depeche Mode's appeal to you? Well, all I can tell you is that the song's all right. Is that enough?

Sure, no worries. Thanks for helping out, Delbert. Anyone else?

Winston: Depeche Mode hail from Basildon and the new town aesthetic really informs their bleak, industrial dynamic with a passionless wilderness...

Delbert: Shut up, Winston!

So, in closing, what would each of you have picked for Single of the Fortnight?

Delbert: Herbie Hancock.

Winston: MJ.

Elfreda: Oh, that Bruce Foxton's a nice lad, isn't he?

Julie: Bucks Fizz.

Simon: Don't mind her. She fancies David Van Day.

And you, Simon?

Simon: XTC. Jules hasn't fancied any of them since the drummer left.

Is everything okay at home, Si?

~~~~~

Dear Mr. Henry,

Well, that was a laugh. Perhaps I shouldn't have loaded them up on drinks before we sat down for this session. I can't believe how much sherry Elfreda drank.

Best wishes,

Paul

~~~~~             

Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Herbie Hancock: "Autodrive"

Here's a jazz great. Was part of Miles Davis' second great quintet and then went on to release some outstanding fusion albums in the seventies. He was still trying to be current well into the eighties as well which is where "Autodrive" fits in. I like that he got the Famous People Players to help with the video.

Delbert: Well hard tune. Well hard tune.

Yeah, you said that to Lenny thirty-six years ago. A lot of repeating going on. Anything other thoughts, Del?

Delbert: Hard then, hard today, hard tomorrow. HARD!

Kind of a waste of his considerable talents, wouldn't you say? Or are you sticking with hard? Never mind. The use of electro special effects was one that helped revitalise Hancock's career but at the price of his innate improvisational skills which barely get a look in here. The tune is present and correct and swims through the mind but the nagging feeling that he's lost his way somewhat diminishes...

Delbert: Shut up, Paul!

Depeche Mode: "See You"

21 January 1982

"If it doesn't make Number One, I'll write and complain."

— Mark Ellen

Letters

Smash Hits Letters

52-55 Carnaby Street

London W1V 1PF

£5 record token for the letter that delights us most.

~~~~~

LOUISE, WON'T you smile at me
Like you did in R.E.?

Miss Shaw spoke with scorn

And she looked quite forlorn

As she spoke of us writing our own private creed

(Mistaking me, perhaps, for the Venerable Bede),

You shot me a glance

And my heart did a dance

But ever since then you just look away

Even when we get to the end of the day.

You act as if you simply don't care

Of my heart, you just aren't aware

And that's why, Louise, I just have to speak

Because my will grows ever so weak

I swear I won't touch

I just like you so much.

And now all I want is to see you again,

Though I know not where or when.

Maybe it will be over half term break

When you're out for a stroll 'round Appleby Lake

Then you'll come round to mine on Galveston Road

And we'll play Altered Images and Depeche Mode

Maybe you'll even smile at me

Like you did in R.E.

Graham D., Cheltenham

You sure your Louise doesn't prefer other bands? Have a five quid record token to invest in something she actually likes. Failing that, your purchase could inspire yet more verse. Just some helpful advice from one lonely git to another.

~~~~~

WELL DONE, Mark Ellen. You had The Jam, Soft Cell, the Spands, even bloody Bow Wow Wow to choose from and you had to go for those talentless turds Depeche Mode. I'll admit that "Just Can't Get Enough" was nice but all the pop flash they had departed along with Vince Clarke. I can't believe you'd praise something so obviously dull and without merit. If they're light years ahead then I'd hate to see what's in the future. Thankfully they've had their last hit and we won't be hearing from them again. Mark my words.

Richard, Skegness

We'll hold you to that. Send us a crate of Skegness Rock to the address above if the Deps do manage to eek out another hit.

~~~~~

WELL DONE: Depeche Mode made the cover of the latest issue and you print a glowing review of their latest single, the wondrous "See You". I suppose I ought to be grateful that Smash Hits has finally decided to pay attention to Basildon's finest but I can't help but be overwhelmed by a sense of anticlimax. What took you so long?

Depeche Mode have been slowly gaining momentum over the past year and it has been disappointing that Smash Hits has mostly ignored them in favour of Haircut One Hundred and Toyah. What do they have that the Mode doesn't? Do third form students jot down Toyah lyrics in the margins of their notebooks in the middle of geography lessons? Do the Haircuts inspire a dreamscape of art and brilliant people and philosophy? I think not.

Hail Depeche Mode, the future of pop!

Nancy, Braintree

We imagine that Toyah and the Haircuts inspire a love of pop music, as do Depeche Mode. But our apologies nonetheless. The next time synth-noodlers from an English New Town emerge from the shadows we'll be right on them.

~~~~~

DID YOU know that if you rearrange the letters of 'Depeche Mode' you get 'Deedee chop me'?

Simon, Arundel

So what? Kim Wilde is an anagram for 'wide milk' and Duran Duran spells 'And and ru ru'. We're currently working on one for Dexys Midnight Runners. Suggestions to the address above.

~~~~~

I NOTICE that Mark Ellen still hasn't written in to complain that his beloved "See You" failed to hit Number One as he so confidently predicted it would. Does it rankle that the supposedly tune-free "Town Called Malice" has been dominating the charts instead? He couldn't even be bothered to mention its nearly as wonderful double A-side companion "Precious". If Depeche Mode (or any other group for that matter) want to get to the top of the charts, they'd be wise to put out a single when Paul, Bruce and Rick are otherwise occupied. Mr. Ellen should know better than to doubt The Jam.
Barry, Scunthorpe

Our boy Mark did indeed compose a letter complaint as promised but he sent it off to the folks who compile the charts. This space is reserved for the gripes of our beloved readers, our writers may do so elsewhere.