— Ian Morgan
"My pants were shaking in the seat. I nearly fell over they were shaking that much."
— Andy Pickles
I'm generally no fan of pop stars reviewing the singles but I do understand why Smash Hits went to that well from time-to-time. (By 1990 they had become far too common with three of the first five issues being without a proper music critic) It made for a welcome change and allowed for guests to give their own opinions, something the readers were interested in. Also, it was a chance for pop types to appear in the magazine and not be asked questions like "What colour is Tuesday?" or "Have you ever grown cress in the mouth of a hippopotamus?" Win-win.
Pop stars. Individuals who cut pop records, have hits with them and become famous. They may have only taken the briefest of spins on that giddy carousel (Paul King, Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Brother Beyond) or they sat upon a pony for so long that they got dizzy and ended up getting sick in a gum boot (George Michael, Boy George, John Taylor) but either way they were all pop stars. Not so much in this case though. While Ian Morgan and Andy Pickles were partially responsible for some of the most successful, if also creatively bankrupt, pop of the period, they were not widely known to the public. They were part of a "group" called the Mastermixers who were "fronted" by the anthropomorphic character Jive Bunny.
As pop fans, we may seek out information about producers, songwriters and engineers if we are so inclined but it is seldom necessary. Does knowledge of Phil Spector matter or is it only of importance that "Be My Baby", "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" and "Instant Karma" are great records? Mr. Back to Mono (even if he hadn't murdered anyone I find it impossible to think of him as anything but a great, big douche) fashioned himself into a defacto pop star due to his inflated ego but his productions would have been just as good if we hadn't known about them. The same goes for Joe Meek, Spector's English counterpart. During the late-eighties, Mike Stock, Matt Aitken and Pete Waterman became increasingly visible due to their highly successful run of hits and the trio were often interviewed on TV. They became almost as famous as the members of their stable but, again, no one needed to know anything about them.
Smash Hits readers do not need this guest singles review. It would not have peaked the interests of fans — Jive Bunny fans probably didn't even care. Number One magazine would have doubtless chosen to go the low road by having the rabbit give picks of his own but to be fair that also would've been the logical choice to have made. If anyone was a pop star in that organization it was the Bunny, not the blokes behind it. Who were Morgan and Pickles? Who cares?
A pair of hip hop numbers are co-Singles of the Fortnight in this issue of ver Hits. I've been listening to them regularly over the past week and I'm amazed how little of these two songs have stayed with me. The beats? Nope, can't remember 'em. Some of their rhymes? Nah. Choruses? I'm not sure either of them even have choruses. In the early part of 1990 I was closing in on my teens so I should've been the perfect age for rap music but these records only manage to remind me of why the majority of it was lost on me.
That's not to say they're both terrible singles that had no business being anyone's SOTF. "What U Waitin' 4" is spirited and good fun when I'm listening to it even if nothing in it makes me want to come back for more. After being at the frontier of hip house with their influential "I'll House You" in 1988 (their raps on top of the stunning "Can You Party" by Todd Terry project Royal House), the Jungle Brothers evolved into more of a standard rap group a year later and it's as if they were still finding their way. It's a fine if unmemorable number but they were clearly capable of better. The video looks like a lot of fun though.
It's actually tempting to think what the Jungle Brothers might have done with Sly & Robbie backing and/or producing them. Their playfulness might have found a home in Shakespeare and Dunbar's beats and I suspect they would've been more interested in capturing Jamaican dance hall music rather than just rapping about it. The Jungle Brothers' subsequent 1990 hit "Doin' Our Own Dang", an excellent track that only just out performed "What U Waitin' 4" on the charts, is much more in keeping with the spirit of that blissed out, hippie hop vibe (which the guesting Monie Love and De La Soul made even clearer). Sly & Robbie would go back to their Jamaican roots as part of the ragga boom of the early nineties, eventually being behind the hits by duo Chaka Demus & Pliers. Like Shabba Ranks and Shaggy, they brought in elements of rap into Jamaican music, rather than the other way around.
Pickles points out that while "people think we listen to rock 'n' roll all day" they are in fact hip hop fans at heart. Beyond the obvious crassness of their singles, this comment points to one of the other big knocks against the Jive Bunny brand. Elsewhere, DJs and producers were making records that were futuristic but they wanted to take modern techniques to revive a past that they themselves weren't even very interested in. It was bad enough that they had to unleash "Swing the Mood" and "Let's Party" upon the world but to do so while depriving the world of some sort of techno-rap-dance-sample masterpiece that was really in their hearts? Unforgivable.
~~~~~
Also of some cop
Inspiral Carpets: "This Is How It Feels"
Madchester groups tended to have at least two songs people liked then and fondly recall now. With a respectable eleven Top 40 entries, you'd think that this rule would easily apply to Oldham's finest. But I've been struggle to think of another Carpets single beyond this one. I know I heard some back in the day but not one left any kind of impression on me. (It evidently isn't just hip hop that could be quite forgettable) Still, if you're going to be known for only one indie hit then why not "This Is How It Feels". Presenting a more reflective side of the whole baggy scene, the lyrics are about an unhappy family with hints of spousal abuse and also about some rich person attempting to whisk a "local girl" away and these anecdotes are how it feels to be lonely. More care could've been put into the words but it's still a great record. Far from the studenty jam session that Morgan and Pickles describe it as, in reality it's tough but tender. That organ is ace too: no wonder they were Generation X's answer to The Doors and The Stranglers. It's just a shame I can't remember anything else they did.
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