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— Tom Doyle
The Beatmasters were a trio of DJ's who reluctantly became pop stars during the late-eighties' house music boom. Like many of their contemporaries, they seemed out of place in the limelight (only Mark Moore of S'Express made a game effort to play the part) so they shifted the attention to guest vocalists, all of whom seemed likely to achieve stardom. First up was Cookie Crew, whose collaboration with Paul Carter, Amanda Glanfield and Richard Walmsley resulted in a Top 10 hit with "Rok Da House" but the pair largely fizzled on their own. Next came veteran singer P.P. Arnold. Their Top 20 hit in October 1988 "Burn It Up" is a banger but this failed to rejuvenate the vocalist's fortunes. Then, young English rapper Merlin joined up for "Who's in the House" which got to number eight in the spring of '89. The promising hip hop star also appeared on S'Express' debut album Original Soundtrack but his prospects were hindered by a prison sentence. The Beatmasters weren't making stars, they were showing how their featured vocalists weren't able to cut it on their own.
Betty Boo seemed to play it differently. Appearing relatively normal (she looks a bit like Natalie Merchant in her first Smash Hits appearance) for their hit single "Hey DJ / I Can't Dance (to the Music You're Playing)" before shifting into cartoon pop form once her solo career began a year later. With her records "Doin' the Do" and "Where Are You Baby" hinting at the sixties' influence that had been all over dance pop and indie in 1990, it seemed like her timing couldn't have been better. And the fact that she looked like Emma Peel and Barbarella gave her that extra bit of retro chic appeal.
Betty Boo hadn't been a big deal in North America but I liked what I saw. She was different, seemed more than happy to make a fool of herself and was the sort of girl my thirteen-year-old self dreamed of. If the quartet Fuzzbox had been one person they would have looked and acted like the former Alison Clarkson. (What I failed to recognise was that she took the pop game much more seriously than the always up for a laugh Vix, Mags, Jo and Tina; how could I have spotted a steely and determined pop starlet by just a few pics that made it across the Atlantic in the pages of the old French pop mag Salut les copains?)
As for her records, I was charmed at first but it didn't take long for her shtick to wear thin. "Hey DJ" had been robust enough but free of The Beatmasters her vocal toughness became undermined by catchy but disposable tunes that really leaned towards younger listeners. The teen boys already fancied her so why not try to attract young and impressionable girls. All this is great and she played the part well but her music just blended in with the crowd even as she seemed born to stand out.
As if giving up entirely, she came back in 1992 with a fresh batch of songs that were no better than before presenting herself as just another sex kitten pop songstress. Having been away from the pop scene for more than a year and a half, she was returning to to a world that had largely moved on. (Ver Hits even acknowledges this in this same issue in the section formerly known as Bitz: "You wouldn't be blamed for forgetting Betty Boo", the short piece commences) There were enough pop kids who had enough interest to help "Let Me Take You There" almost get into the Top 10 but this would be her last shot at chart action.
Madonna and Kylie Minogue weren't exactly at their best in '92 but even on their worst day, they could effortlessly do something that could outpace the bland "Let Me Take You There". Aside from a nod to The Beach Boys in the musical break — the aquatic floatiness brings to mind the instrumental "The Nearest Faraway Place" from the group's 1969 album 20/20 — there isn't much to recommend. Betty Boo tries to sound sensual and she just about pulls it off but this probably makes the raps in the early verses seem even more out of place.
Memorable pop stars who make a mark don't come around very often and former pop kids who are now in their forties are right to have a fondness for Betty Boo, even if her records sometimes missed the mark. But the character had mostly disappeared leaving the still young Clarkson to put herself at the centre of it. But how could she have been expected to succeed? It was Betty Boo who was the pop star, Alison Clarkson just happened to be the one doing the rapping and singing. They both needed to be present for there to be any hope of it working.
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Also Reviewed This Fortnight
Cud: "Purple Love Balloon"
With a terrible name and a lead singer who looked like a grumpier, more well-nourished Mick Hucknall, people couldn't have expected much from Cud. I remember first hearing about them and figuring they'd be just the sort of group I could get behind. And I did, only I wasn't always thrilled by their music. "Purple Love Balloon" is one of only three Top 40 hits for the Leeds foursome and is one of their better efforts. Carl Puttnam's voice isn't for everyone but it's distinctive particularly in the landscape of early-nineties' shoegaze and grebo. There's the sense that they were both a little late (they would've been a better fit during the Madchester era) and a few years' early (their 1992 album Asquarius is a forerunner to Britpop) which may explain why they never really caught on. The energy of Puttnam and his aggressive band suggests that they would've been in their element on stage; they're still playing shows so it's never too late, is it?
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