Wednesday 2 December 2020

Boy George: "Everything I Own"

25 February 1987

"Rising like a phoenix out of the bargain bins, "Boy" George returns with a rendering of what us street traders describe as an old chestnut."
— Pete Clark

The Great Disappointment occurred — well, failed to occur — when predictions of a second coming of Christ in 1844 amounted to nothing. Baptist preacher William Miller prophesised through careful study of the Bible that it would happen on October 22 of that year. He amassed more than a million followers, many of whom gave up all their possessions since they were so confident that the saviour was on his way. He didn't turn up and, indeed, he has evidently decided to skip every subsequent party in his honour. Many of Miller's followers didn't give up and they went on to make further predictions of a return. I'm not religious so these tales baffle me: don't these people ever give up? So many second comings have come to nothing and yet they continue to believe that the end times are right around the corner. I'm just guessing but they might have to wait a bit longer.

I was much more affected by a second Great Disappointment that happened at the end of the nineties. This had nothing to do with religious prophecies of any kind, these were of far greater importance. In 1997, Oasis released their much-anticipated third album Be Here Now. A year later saw the finale of Seinfeld. Then, finally, The Phantom Menace opened in theatres in 1999. All three are still best known for the outrage they all caused. Fans expected a masterpiece from Oasis but were met with needlessly lengthy tracks, ghastly lyrics and ludicrously over the top production. Instead of a classic hour of comedy, the last episode of Seinfeld was meandering, pointless and flipped the bird at their fans. Star Wars Episode 1 was childish, weighed down by a horrible script everyone seemed pissed that the movie’s conflict had been kicked off by a dispute over taxes (Jesus, Star Wars fans find the stupiest things to complain about).

I didn't actually hate any of them at first because I had been in denial. Be Here Now is an event and we were experiencing history (true though not the way I had initially thought), the last episode of Seinfeld was had been a great way to go out and I really tried my hardest to laugh (a tell that I should’ve picked up on) and The Phantom Menace was good fun and I made sure to keep going back to see it an embarrassing number of times just to reaffirm that it didn’t suck. Sever denial.

I think there's some that going on in this week's singles review. Pete Clark is so happy to have Boy "funny one" George back that he can overlook a pretty drab entry from him. Admitting that it's "not exactly the sun rising in the West", he is hopeful that it will "mark the beginning of a full rehabilitation". The former Culture Club singer had become something of a national treasure and his struggles with heroin really touched people. With the public still very much on his side, it's easy to see why this comeback single would get good reviews and take him all the way back to the top of the charts.

It had to be the general goodwill that did it because this record has nothing else in its favour. Clark says the composition is "deceptively pretty" which I guess makes me one who has yet to be deceived by its charms. It had been originally a hit for Bread and it's as wet and uninspired as the rest of their work. Later covered by Jamaican Ken Boothe, the gentle lover's rock isn't bad and one can certainly see why George decided to mine it for his cover. Having kick started Culture Club's brief imperial period with the light reggae pop of "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me", doing something not dissimilar to commence his solo careers brings it all full circle.

Unfortunately, this is not the same Boy George from five years earlier. His voice isn't as strong, perhaps due to drug abuse or lack of confidence, and it feels like he already misses former bandmates Jon Moss, Mikey Craig and Roy Hay. This was less than a year since the final disastrous Club LP From Luxury to Heartache and perhaps he should have taken more of a rest before serving up some solo material. But his prominence in the media was still massive and this alone would have been reason enough to get it all going with little time to waste.

"Everything I Own" is limp but it gave him a big hit that he desperately needed but it all quickly fell of the rails. A pity, then, that some much better records he cut at the end of the eighties failed to chart. Singles like "No Clause 28" and "Don't Take My Mind on a Trip" were flops but they give listeners an idea of where his head was at the time and prove that he was still able to keep up with dance pop trends. But Boy George would be back: he forced his way into the spotlight and there was no removing him from it completely. And at least the hype surrounding him would be gone for good — no further Great Disappointments coming from this end.

~~~~~

Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Mel & Kim: "Respectable"

"Respectable" dethroned "Everything I Own" from the number one spot and this marks a sea change. New Pop was gasping its last breath of relevance and here was the New New Pop to push it out of the way for good. The production/writing team of Stock Aitken Waterman had been pumping out the hits for a good while now but this was their first original number to hit the top of the charts (to be followed in the next three years by many, many more). Sisters Mel and Kim Appleby have a lot of London street sass and SAW did a great job of tailoring a song to fit them (and always would in their tragically brief time together). Not exactly Clark's cup of tea but I've always like this one and it makes me wish that the era's most dominant songwriting team had been similarly careful about the material they were handing out to their charges.

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