New Order: "World (The Price of Love)"

18 August 1993

"They've a good army of followers — and I'm one of them."

— Toby Anstis

At one point when I was still on Twitter, a scan of Neil Tennant's review of New Order's supposedly seminal 1983 album Power, Corruption and Lies in Smash Hits did the social media rounds. Though he wasn't overly complementary in his analysis, he didn't completely slag it off either. (A score of 6½ out of 10 isn't quite in 'shitting all over it' territory, is it?) His main criticism was that while New Order were capable of crafting sublime singles, their albums tended to leave a lot to be desired. While Power, Corruption and Lies happened to be just their second LP, he somehow happened to be looking ahead to the many patchy albums they'd record in the future. (Technique is probably the only one that is strong from top to bottom)

This didn't sit well with some on music Twitter. Many seemed to think that because the Pet Shop Boys were inferior to New Order that Tennant shouldn't judge. While they're tastes are wrong, even granting them the premise is flawed. By their logic only The Beatles and Miles Davis are in a position to evaluate the musical worth of anyone else. What's more, if other (future) pop stars have no business knocking others than what of the rest of us?

The one minor problem I have with Tennant's point is that it overlooks the fact that not every New Order single hit the mark either. Early records like "Procession" and "Thieves Like Us" are nothing special. "State of the Nation" is forgettable and "Touched by the Hand of God" is really only saved by the priceless video. And then there's "Ruined in a Day" and "World", neither of which could have hoped to adequately follow the brilliant "Regret" even if they both weren't so wretchedly ordinary.

I bought the Republic album during the spring of 1993 having not heard even a snippet of any of its eleven cuts. Nevertheless, I felt obliged to purchase it, even if I had to pause when I noticed A NEWORDER RELEASE emblazoned at the top of the cover. ("So, this is New Order album, right?") "Regret" instantly made it all worthwhile but getting through the remainder of it proved to be more of a slog. "World" was its second track and I wasn't overly fond of it, especially the backing singers who I felt would have been more at home on a Jason Donovan record. I listened to the first side of Republic and wasn't grabbed by any of it. It was only with side 2 opener "Young Offender" that I could hear a potential second single, something which wouldn't have mattered to the old New Order who seldom bothered including 45's on their LP's.

I wasn't to know it at the time since I seldom purchased singles and disliked most of the 12" mixes I'd heard but "World" did have an ace up its sleeve. The Perfecto mix which would later appear on the 1995 compilation The Rest of New Order turned out to be something of a banger. Revamped by legendary English DJ and producer Paul Oakenfold, it was very much the same song only with more polish and a little more muscle during the instrumental breaks. "This is how it should have sounded all along," I said to myself the first time I put it on. This is no mean feat for a remix: around the same time the Pet Shop Boys put out retooled cuts of both "I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Think" and "Yesterday, When I Was Mad" from their Very album both of which ended up sounding far too cluttered and messy compared to the originals. DJ's like to leave their mark but more often than not it's best if they enhance the record they're tasked with remixing rather than altering it beyond recognition.

This expertly done Perfecto mix highlights the fact that the world no longer needed New Order. This was something that virtually everyone who still remained from the heyday of eighties' synth-pop had to come to terms with in 1993. Depeche Mode accepted the new reality and recorded a messy, grungy alternative album Songs of Faith and Devotion (a favourite among those who prefer the indie side of the Basildonians to their pop sound; suffice it to say I am not one of them) while the Pet Shop Boys doubled down with a work that was them in all their arch-pop glory (it was said to have been 'Very Pet Shop Boys'). Meanwhile, Erasure became even more insufferably serious than they already were. Notably, the only one who didn't have a number one album in '93 and '94 was New Order.

Although I was unaware of this at the time, New Order's days were numbered even prior to the recording of Republic. "World" indicates that this is a unit that was no longer able to coalesce the way they had so effortlessly on "Blue Monday" and "True Faith". Bernard Sumner had been working with Johnny Marr and noted New Order basher New Tennant and the lyrics and melodies he brought back with him sound like vintage Electronic. Worse yet, they sounded like vintage Electronic rejects. The democratic unity of old seemed to have been replaced by four individuals content to do their own thing, contributing only when it suited them.

There is so much to admire and like about New Order that it's actually quite easy to overlook their flaws. The sense that they seemed to think that they were above all this pop caper was annoying but it also reflected their inability to consistently put out magnificent records. While Tennant and Lowe soaked up influences particularly from various subgenres of dance music, Sumner and bandmates Peter Hook, Gillian Gilbert and Stephen Morris seemed incapable of appreciating anything remotely commercial. And then there's the word salad lyrics delivered by the pedestrian-voiced Sumner: while at times the nonsense words sung by a workmanlike vocalist could actually work it was always hit and miss.

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Also Reviewed This Fortnight

The Proclaimers: "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)"

Previously a number eleven hit in the autumn of 1988, "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" enjoyed an unexpected second wind up the charts after being featured in the Johnny Depp-Mary Stuart Masterson picture Benny & Joon. By "charts" I'm referring to the American Hot 100 and the Canadian RPM listing where it peaked at numbers three and four respectively. As for Britain, this re-release didn't even make a token appearance at the bottom end of the chart. But no matter since it would be back. The British would eventually take it to number one for Comic Relief while in North America it was used in the sitcom How I Met Your Mother as the cassingle that was stuck inside Marshall's Fiero. While Ted got sick of it on their roadtrip across the USA, it eventually came around again and he was once again singing along. It happens to all of us.

New Order: "Regret"

31 March 1993

"The world is a better place with them in it...let's just hope we're all alive to hear the next single."

— Pete Stanton

It took nearly fifteen years and roughly four hundred issues of Smash Hits' publication history for it to finally come to this: a Single of the Fortnight Best New Single for the outfit formerly known as Joy Division but which was now better known as New Order.

Being a magazine that was meant to oppose the weighty analysis of the Melody Maker and the NME, ver Hits took its time warming to the Mancuian foursome. Joy Division efforts "Transmission", "Atmosphere" and the still remarkable "Love Will Tear Us Apart" weren't even reviewed (at least not initially) and many of New Order's best loved moments received frosty receptions from the staff of the top pop mag. David Hepworth wasn't exactly blown away by the classic "Blue Monday" ("after the first twenty minutes or so, it starts to cause a tense, nervous headache..."; hey, if you're going to dump on a much-loved record then at least be funny in doing so) while Ro Newton kinda, sorta digs the brilliant "True Faith" though it wouldn't have killed her to have been clearer in saying so (though, to be fair, she's right on the mark when it comes to the so-so "State of the Nation"). Guest reviewer Wendy James is at least forthright about her disdain for the awesome "Fine Time" so there is that I suppose (plus, it is a bit of a grower). All that said, Richard Lowe liked the memorable 1990 World Cup theme "World in Motion" quite a bit even if he didn't like it quite enough to make it his SOTF. Worst of all, however, was the fact that the killer Quincy Jones remix of "Blue Monday" (aka "Blue Monday 1988") wasn't reviewed at all.

Reading the above paragraph you might detect that I'm something of a fan of New Order — and you'd be correct but for one very crucial problem: they couldn't put out a satisfying full-length album to save their bloody lives. From 1981's Movement to '93's Republic (I can't be bothered with anything they've done since then) their L.P.'s have all been different but they've all been blighted by similar problems: too many jangly, metallic guitars, too many repetitive synths, too many of those distinctive Peter Hook bass parts and too much of Bernard Sumner's word salad vocals. On a simple 45, these aren't much of a problem; if anything, they're typically beneficial to their singles.

I daresay that most agree even if there are some out there who doubtless reckon that Power, Corruption & Lies, Low-Life, Brotherhood and Technique are all "criminally underrated" (word of warning: they aren't). Most people's favourite New Order album, though, is Substance, the two-disc compilation from 1987. There's some site known as Slicing Up Eyeballs which is about how great (and, to be sure, "criminally underrated") eighties' indie music is and they're always pumping up this NO greatest hits while remaining silent on everything else they've done. As we are gearing up for Christmas 2023, a deluxe re-issue with two extra discs of remixes and live cuts is set to hit the shops. The trouble with Substance is that it concludes with "True Faith" which to my mind is where New Order really started to be great. It's hard to take a greatest hits seriously when it doesn't have many of a band's greatest hits. Which is why 1994's The Best of New Order is the far superior collection, despite its uninspiring title.

"World in Motion" gave the group a number one single but it started to look like New Order wouldn't be a part of nineties' pop. Sumner resumed working with Johnny Marr and Tennant and Lowe on the self-titled Electronic album while Hook was busy with projects of his own. Smash Hits might wonder from time to time what had happened to the likes of Pet Shop Boys, Erasure, OMD or Depeche Mode during any of their respective layovers but the relatively anonymous quartet from Manchester who had never graced the magazine's cover were such an afterthought that they wouldn't even be mentioned. It was only until they came back in the early part of '93 that anyone realised how much they missed them.

But how could we have felt otherwise given the state of "Regret" which is perhaps their finest single aside from "True Faith"? Fresh New Order singles released prior to an album (they were one of the last 'singles don't go on a L.P.' holdovers) had the tendency to make a solid but unspectacular Top 20 or Top 30 splash but this was something altogether different. North Americans, who previously didn't have much to do with them, were even paying attention. Seemingly everyone could tell that "Regret" was something special. But what was it?

New Order singles would frequently balance lyrical melancholy with irresistible dancefloor grooves but this was hardly unique to them — in fact, this was a specialty of all synth-pop acts. But a girl I was friendly with in high school called Zeynin revealed why one day during PE class. We were in the weight room when it came on the radio. She hummed along merrily to it and sang along with the chorus. "This song makes me so happy," she smiled. "I love it too," I replied. But its positivity was lost on me. Sumner's closing remark of "just wait till tomorrow, I guess that's what they all say"

Of course, joy has always been present. The tune is as close to uplifting as New Order ever came. For them to do so with seemingly little reliance on synthesizers makes it all the more incredible. I mean, I know they're present but they're difficult to detect, unless that hint of a string section is all the work of Gillian Gilbert's keyboards. Depeche Mode had also been drifting away from synths and programming at this same time but New Order's shift was subtler and less of an opportunistic creative turn. The outstanding 12" Fire Island mix of "Regret" even makes it much more of a synthy number, giving it a slight Pet Shop Boys vibe and without having any of those metallic, jangly guitars and Hooky's done-to-death bass.

Downbeat or positive, this Pete Heller and Terry Farley remix illustrates what a fantastic song "Regret" always has been regardless of genre. Its gospel piano solo towards the end makes me wonder how Marvin Gaye would've handled it. Or Curtis Mayfield. Or Aretha Franklin. Hell, let's throw in Johnny Cash, Neil Diamond and Ricky Lee Jones while we're at it — and, indeed, any of your favourite vocalists too. "Regret" holds up to all sorts of eras, styles and voices, though they'd be hard pressed to top New Order's sublime original. I think I've fallen in love with it all over again.

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Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Duran Duran: "Come Undone"

In one of the more unanticipated comebacks of the year, Duran Duran were back and people really seemed into them again. Not so much me, mind you, but I'm the only person who likes my taste in music so what the hell do I know. For some reason, "Come Undone" left more of a mark on me than predecessor "Ordinary World", which had been the far bigger hit. Nevertheless, it was, as Pete Stanton says, "a load of codswallop". Still is too. On the other hand, it only made me appreciate "Rio", "Hungry Like the Wolf" and "Skin Trade" all the more so good on them for coming up with new stuff that didn't ruin my childhood by wrecking their legacy. I don't ask for much, me.

Happy Mondays & Karl Denver: "Lazyitis (One-Armed Boxer)"

30 May 1990

"What's "Lazyitis" when it's at home? If this single's anything to go by it's an ailment that afflicts top Mancunian pop rascals rendering them too idle to compose their own tunes. So they pinch other people's."

— Richard Lowe

This batch of singles has a distinctly Mancunian air to it. With five Greater Manchester acts represented, this truly was the year of Madchester. Or was it? Among the groups here hailing from the so-called Warehouse City (does anyone actually call it that?) is New Order and A Certain Ratio, not exactly the baggiest of groups. That said, why shouldn't they qualify too? Just what linked these bands beyond their locale (and even that was flexible given that Scots Primal Scream and The Soul Dragons and Scousers The Farm were also involved)? Was it that they all made indie music that people could dance to? Only sometimes really. Oldham's Inspiral Carpets were on the second tier baggy groups and no one could possible get down to any of their stuff — and, also, New Order's best material is their songs you can dance to. Was it that they were all one indie labels? I suppose so even if the indies in 1990 were an entirely different beast from a decade earlier — and, also, New Order and A Certain Ration both happened to be on small labels themselves. Did they tend to be young? Not for the most part, barring the odd Charlatans — most weren't a whole lot younger than members of New Order and A Certain Ratio. In an era when anyone could do Madchester, everyone seemed to belong.

Usually when it's your year, everything goes right. The Human League toiled through half-a-decade's worth of anemic sales before and general indifference before their commercial prospects blossomed with hits such as "Love Action (I Believe in Love)", "Open Your Heart" and, of course, the global smash "Don't You Want Me". They did so well that a grave pop injustice was righted when former flop "Being Boiled" got reissued and they had yet another Top 10 hit. ABC quickly became the next Human League when their Lexicon of Love album took the place of Dare as Britain's LP of choice in the early eighties. They also reeled off a string of hits from their masterpiece. A year on and it was Culture Club's turn to sell boat loads of albums and singles.

Though different from The Human League, ABC and Culture Club in terms of style and form, Manchester's Happy Mondays seemed to be the same sort of group that could do no wrong during their big year. "Step On" had already given them a breakthrough Top 5 hit and they seemed primed for more of the same. The only trouble was they didn't have anything new to capitalize on their fame. Their third album wouldn't come out until close to the end of the year and a proper follow-up was being held back until closer to that time. Until then, it would have to be yet another remix that would have to suffice.

"Layzitis" had originally popped up on their second album Bummed back in 1988. Like much of that LP, it's a fine track that didn't draw much attention to itself beyond the blatant theft of The Beatles' "Ticket to Ride" in the chorus. Ripping off from the Fab Four as well as Sly & The Family Stone and David Essex may seem beyond brazen but it's actually a clever way of hiding all that plagiarism. Feel nervous about having stolen a riff or chord? Why not bury the song in yet more layers of riffs and chords that have been nicked from a variety of sources. Sure, clever clog reviewers like Richard Lowe will notice but no one else will. The group that had previously relied on sampling themselves was now bogged down in plundering others to such an extent that it could scarcely be heard.

Perhaps what is most surprising is how this 'One-Armed Boxer' mix sounds so unlike a remix at all. You're not going to track down the great yodeler Karl Denver only to pointlessly use him on some dodgy Ibiza party mix, are you? While not a folk or country record that the veteran singer would have been accustomed to, a straight up jangle pop record suits him just fine. What is off-putting at first is the fact that he and Happy Mondays leader Shaun Ryder are out of synch with one another. It's not unlike the overrated David Bowie/Bing Crosby Christmas perennial "Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy", only it seems less deliberate. While old pros Bing and the Dame find their sweet spot to finally come together ("Every child must be made aware..."), Denver and Ryder meet up almost accidentally at the song's half-way point. It is only then that I realised that the two were singing the same lyrics. Indie pop's greatest living junkie had laid his vocal down much earlier and there clearly wasn't any effort made for him to re-record it along with Denver for this remix. It's unprofessional and slipshod but I think it gives the song character and charm. And in any event, why would you be anything but shoddy on a song called "Lazyitis".

It's very much a grower and must have been too strange for much in the way of public consumption. Lowe considers it the "weirdest record in a long time" and this is a point in its favour for him. But the pop kids who shelled out for "Step On" must have found this a difficult one to swallow. A light, twinkling melody? A slightly warped take on sixties' baroque pop? An old man with a crackling voice who could've been Ryder's dad? It may not have mattered that one couldn't dance to it because it was Madchester all the same but that didn't mean they had another sure-fire hit on their hands. Unjustly but understandably, "Lazyitis" just missed the Top 40. (A few weeks of chart action may have allowed listeners to get used to it and it might have enjoyed a more respectable run) In what seemed to have been the Happy Mondays' year, they couldn't avoid having a flop single to throw off their momentum a tad. The run up to the release of their third album — more on that in a few weeks: this blog is sure getting its fill of these loony Mancs — was handcuffed enough that it failed to reach number one, yet another odd anticlimax in a year that was should've been filled with nothing but highs. But enough about Shaun Ryder's drug habit...

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Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Englandneworder: "World in Motion"

And New Order's Single of the Fortnight-less streak continues. "Lazyitis" is an excellent record and it would normally be a fine SOTF but it's no "World in Motion", not even close. (Discerning listeners love the Substance compilation which covers the early part of New Order's recording career but I'm more partial to The Best of New Order which is well stocked in their 1988-93 pop side of which this is one of many highlights) People will always point out that this is easily the finest football pop song but it's outstanding even without factoring in the chanting at the end and the samples of the patrician announcer calling the final seconds of England's '66 World Cup triumph. The lyrics from comedian Keith Allen manage to evoke the beautiful game while avoiding being drowned in it and that's all you can ask for. Purists scoff but there aren't many New Order songs that are better — and, for once, it's as if they know this too. No longer everyone's second or third favourite group.

Michael Jackson: "I Just Can't Stop Loving You"

29 July 1987

"P.S. There's 12" version and no video whatsoever — i.e. he's still mad!"

— Ro Newton

The video for the Michael Jackson single "Bad" premiered on August 31, 1987 on an MTV special. Being from Canada, we had MuchMusic, which didn't have much crossover with the more well-known music station south of the border, and the video didn't air until later. When, I'm not sure but it wouldn't have been long after. It seemed like a big deal and so I sat down and watched all eighteen minutes of it. I wasn't the biggest fan of Jackson but I did recall how the promo for "Thriller" had been such an important event that I nevertheless passed me by four years earlier and I wasn't about to miss this second coming of a cultural wave.

As I say, I wasn't a big MJ fan but he was too big to ignore, especially back in that era. Huge as he had been in the early eighties, his world tour and Moonwalker film seemed to make him seem even more of a megastar. The fact that the new LP wasn't selling as well and its accompanying singles weren't charting as high seemed like just an afterthought. Just as he had with Thriller, he released an absurd number of singles from his latest album that stretch in my mind from "Bad" in the autumn of '87 all the way to "Liberian Girl" in the summer of '89. It comes as something of a surprise, then, to discover that there was an earlier record intended as a taster for the new LP. Nine singles spread over two years as he milked it for all he could.

It's easy to forget about "I Just Can't Stop Loving You". As Ro Newton says, Jackson didn't bother with a video, a practice that was still happening at the time but one that was surprising coming from a man who did groundbreaking promos for "Billie Jean" and "Thriller". It also had a fairly brief chart stay, as Bad's title track quickly took over. I'm not sure a lack of a 12" mix mattered much in the scheme of things, what with it hardly being dance record, but for certain it was a low key release, edging Jackson gradually back into the spotlight. Given that he initially had Barbra Streisand and Whitney Houston penciled in to duet with him, it may not necessarily have been intended to get the Bad ball rolling in this fashion; had either of them agreed to appear on it, it's easy to imagine "Another Part of Me" getting the nod as the opening single instead; "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" would've had a video to go with it and fans would remember it much more fondly.

Michael Jackson was capable of many things but one thing he could never really pull off was slow songs. Okay, I might give him "I'll Be There" back when he was just a lad in the Jackson 5 and, in a pinch, "Ben" from right around the same time. Listening to them both now, they aren't quite as good as I remember them being and I'm even tempted to say that Mariah Carey's cover of the former is superior. But they're both still decent and convincing, which is more than can be said for the likes of "She's Out of My Life" and "It's the Falling in Love". Both of these songs are from Off the Wall, an album with a stellar first side ("Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" is still his finest moment) but a boring flip, largely populated by slushy old love songs. (The fact that his very so-so cover of Paul McCartney's "Girlfriend" is the side's high point says all you need to know) Thriller isn't quite as strong as Off the Wall but it does benefit by having fewer slow songs and by having them better spread out among the tracks people actually want to listen to. Though it had a nice melody, "Human Nature" was certainly more tolerable sandwiched between "Billie Jean" and "P.Y.T." than had it been placed in between a pair of weepies.

All that said, "I Just Can't Stop Loving You" is a passable effort and there are worse singles that he chose to release later on from Bad. Songwriter and backing vocalist Siedah Garrett fills in well enough for Streisand and Houston. These more famous guests would have undoubtedly tried to leave a mark of their own on the recording but the restrained approach is much better suited to the material. This is not a duet of contrasting individuals who want different things but people with a passion for one another. It might as well not even be a duet but since it is, why not utilise a female singer who kind of sounds like Michael Jackson? As the song begins to wind down, you scarcely notice Garrett anymore and it starts making sense why they didn't give her an artist co-credit.

Jackson had this irritating tendency of repeating the tricks that made him successful. Seven singles were released from Thriller, nine from Bad. (Remarkably, another nine were siphoned off of 1991's Dangerous; "Black or White" and "Remember the Time" are the only ones I can recall) An absurdly lengthy promo for "Thriller" which begat one for "Bad". (Again, he did this for "Black or White"; did ever occur to him that the novelty of these excruciatingly long and boring videos had worn off?) Where he had it right was in trying new things. He hadn't done a film surrounding his music before so that was fine (I mean, I've never actually seen it) nor had he released a modest little ballad that was only sort of a duet to little fanfare. I guess when you're locked away in Neverland, you might lose the ability to read the room and realise that people might be starting to get sick of you. The Bad period was only just kicking off and I was already tired of him.

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Also Reviewed This Fortnight

New Order: "True Faith"

With all due respect to Ro Newton, she wasted her SOTF on an average MJ record. There are worse new releases (The Colourfield's version of The Monkees' "She" is utterly wretched; it would be their final release which was a sad end for Terry Hall's third group when he was able to go out on a high note with both "Ghost Town" and "Our Lips Are Sealed" with previous units) but the latest from New Order buries the competition. They had already put out a series of excellent singles by this point but "True Faith" was their first since "Blue Monday" to seem like something really special. Not only is the music as stunning as anything they'd ever record but this is their one song that really connects with teenage angst. As Newton points out, their sound was getting poppier but that's not a bad thing if, like me, you prefer The Best of New Order to Substance. If not, you can have your indie darling New Order and I'll have my indie-mixed-with-some-pop New Order. Happy?

Elvis Costello & The Attractions: "Tokyo Storm Warning"

27 August 1986

"The appealing thing about Elvis is that he wraps his ideas up in strong melodies which don't detract from what he's saying. And you can dance to them..."

— Ro Newton

This fortnight's singles were reviewed by Ro Newton, a Hits critic I don't know a great deal about. Very brief bios online say she now goes by the name of Rosemary Barrett but either way she doesn't have a huge social media presence, if she at all. But two things of note about her back in the day: (1) she was a presenter on The Old Grey Whistle Test alongside fellow music journalists Mark Ellen and David Hepworth and (2) she made that most unlikely of jumps from Number One to Smash Hits.

As a boy it would sometimes puzzle me when competing sides would act like their main rival didn't exist. There was no trace of Superman in the world of Marvel Comics and the Avengers were nowhere to be found in DC. A newcomer hero or villain at one wrestling promotion would never be acknowledged as having previously been a part of another. Newton's arrival at ver Hits wasn't trumpeted with a 'she's joining us after a successful stint at rival pop mag Number One', nor was her departure from Numero Uno given a 'she's off to improve the fortunes of Hash Smits and jolly good luck to her!' One can only imagine the hurt leaving her old job caused as well as the suspicion with which her new co-workers held her. Being a Whistle Test presenter, she might not have given a toss which teen pop mag she was toiling for since her heart may have been in indie rock. And who better to give props to in her first singles review at bat than Elvis Costello?

1984 saw the release of Goodbye Cruel World, Costello's disastrous post-divorce ninth album that almost no one likes. He has subsequently gone into spin mode on it, declaring that it's his worst album of good songs or best album of crap songs or something but in any event, the entire experience was enough to get him to try something new. With that in mind, he ditched the eighties production and sythns and did a roots country work called King of America. He even ditched his longtime band The Attractions in favour of some crack American sessioners. It's a big improvement on Goodbye... but still flawed. After a while the clever yarns, funny lyrics ("She said that she was working for the ABC news, it was as much of the alphabet as she knew how to use" is still one of the best lines he's ever come up with) and rootsy tunes get a bit on the wick and I'm never able to make it much past the tenth track "Eisenhower Blues". Again, a different approach was in order.

Getting back with fellow Attractions Steve Nieve, Bruce Thomas and Pete Thomas with King... in the can, Costello discovered that there wasn't much left for him musically. No one in the group liked each other anymore and so they made the best of a bad situation by thrashing away at their instruments. As if to compensate, Costello put his pen in overdrive, writing lengthy verses for at least two tracks of their latest release Blood & Chocolate. A big favourite among his still-loyal following, it's a good marking for just how much Declan MacManus one can take. Turns out, I can only take so much but it's his most avowedly rock album since This Year's Model so there are people out there who reckon it's one of the best things His Nibs ever did.

Newton praises his melodies but in this respect Blood... is probably his weakest album to date. His bandmates often sound like an especially glum bar band so perhaps he just didn't have much to work with. Lyrically it's all over the shop with the twice rejected "I Hope You're Happy Now" ("...it almost sounded like pop music," admits its author, doing his best to justify an uncharacteristically bland song) making the cut along with the unnecessarily long "I Want You". But this approach wasn't for naught as it did get a piece like "Tokyo Storm Warning" out of his system.

They say that a day in Bangkok is too much but a week isn't enough. Apparently that's Costello's take on the Japanese capital too. You arrive and there are neon signs with chicken scratch hiragana and katakana characters, grotesque cosplay youths and oddball mascots and, bloody hell!, where am I?!? Culture shock is bad enough just crossing the Atlantic but here in the Far East? At least they speak some form of English in Vegas! Of course, you eventually come down and discover that the people are friendly, the food's great (if a little too salty) and all that crap that bugged you out at first is actually pretty cool. You love Japan — until you come back.

The above has never been my experience visiting Japan (aside from all the good stuff) but I know what it's like to be alienated by a massive Asian city. Bangkok, Jakarta, Singapore, Seoul: they've all irritated and freaked me out at various times for different reasons. What I never did was equate any of them with conflicts in Afghanistan or Kosovo. I don't know where Costello gets the idea that his aggrieved and jet lagged self is somehow looking at Tokyo through the prism of the Falklands, Palestine and South Africa but at least he got a good song out of it. Verses come at you in waves with loads of impressive imagery ("Between the Disney abattoir and the chemical refinery", "Japanese God, Jesus robots telling teenage fortunes") that either means everything or nothing.  Indeed, the chorus shrugs its shoulders ("what do we care?") but I'd much rather sing along with whatever the hell Costello's going on about.

The downside, however, is that it's best consumed just the once. Just as albums like Dark Side of the Moon and OK Computer never sound as good on repeated listens so,too, does "Tokyo Storm Warning". There aren't any hidden elements or musical touches to rediscover and the endless verses can become heavy-handed rather quickly. That doesn't mean it can't be appreciated further, just that weaknesses do creep in after a few plays. Newton is reminded of The Rolling Stones' classic "Satisfaction" but for me it's more like Dylan's brilliant "Highway 61 Revisited", albeit without the humour, playfulness and siren whistle. The Bard is very much at the heart of what Costello is doing here and the comparison almost works. If it is his "Desolation Row" then it's only because nothing else qualifies.

Newton's recommendation didn't do much for its chart prospects as it stalled just inside the Top 75. In addition to its stream-of-consciousness lyrics, radio programmers and listeners may have been turned off by having to flip the single over just to hear the second half of the song. In any case, it never had much commercial potential but it retains a special place in the Elvis Costello canon, despite it being a bunch of codswallop. Or, and here's a thought, perhaps precisely because it is.

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Also Review This Fortnight

New Order: "State of the Nation"

Nowadays everyone sings with their eyes closed and likes New Order but that wasn't always the case. They made a string of good but not great LP's and had a run of singles that was pretty damn impressive but they seldom put out anything that people went bananas for and were kind of taken for granted by the pop world — and I can certainly see why with "State of the Nation". Another six minute-plus single, it's helped rather than hindered by Factory having the good sense to edit it down for the 7" mix. A supposed protest song, the lyrics are really just a textbook example of how Barney Sumner would telegraph his rhymes. The tune a is vaguely jangly throwback to "Everything's Gone Green" but which seems out of date next to follow-up single "Bizarre Love Triangle". Nothing special and they did much better — even if they also did worse.