— John Taylor
Not exactly a ringing endorsement from John "Most Fanciable Male" Taylor, is it? Sometimes it's not about the record one happens to think "isn't bad", it's those singles that aren't even that good. And what a bunch of duds his nibs had to endure. Prince & The Revolution's "When Doves Cry" ("...doesn't do anything previous efforts haven't done before"), Bob Marley & The Wailers' "Waiting in Vain" ("I prefer him more abrasive"), The Pointer Sisters' "Jump (For My Love)" ("...this doesn't cut the mustard") and Tina Turner's "What's Love Got to Do with It" ("I'm disappointed. Where's the raunchola this week?") are among the lackluster hopefuls up for Taylor's consideration. The fact that they're all now arguably classics is just hard cheese.
I feel well-disposed towards Taylor's cavalier attitude towards these records mainly since they dovetail nicely with my own. Sure, Prince's name was made by Purple Rain and its singles but this was material very much in keeping with what he'd been doing a year earlier on the better 1999 album (although I can't let Taylor's remark that "everybody's getting heavy these days" slip by unchecked given that other pop stars cum guest reviewers could very well have said the same thing a few months later over The Power Station). Marley was never the same without original Wailer cohorts Peter Tosh and Bunny Wailer, his cutting lyrics and musical vision having been tamed by his late-seventies status as a spokesman and concert attraction. "Jump" is one of those eighties throwbacks that doesn't deserve all its film soundtrack space and TV commercials — and even being interrupted by a jubilant Simon Le Bon with news that they've risen in the US charts is not able to lift his disinterest. Turner's effort is better than most here but it's still far from what she was capable of. How the mighty have fallen.
Some, then, may want to jump in with a quip like "who's John Taylor to be knocking Prince? What's he ever done?" which is understandable enough but leaves out two significant factors: (a) this is John Taylor, bassist of Duran Duran who were still riding the success of "The Reflex" — which, though far from perfect, is more thrilling than anything Prince Rogers Nelson would ever record — and (b) he's giving his thoughts on a stack of new releases, what do his musical bona fides have to do with anything? (I mean, apart from helping land him this gig as guest reviewer?) Why bash a film you didn't care for if you haven't made one? Why knock a politician if you've never made a run for political office?
As for the SOTF itself, it's not too bad though it's hardly my choice cut here. (That would be The Human League's "Life on Your Own" even if I can fully understand not opting for something so rum) "Closest Thing to Heaven" is a fairly early example of eighties sophisti-pop, a sub genre which would come to rule the charts at the close of the decade, with it's clipped guitar parts and delicate synth backing. Martin Brammer was even a bit ahead of his time with a smooth yet mildly sandpapery vocal which would also become all too common in later years. The lyrics strive for a profundity which simply isn't there but I suppose that sums Thatcherite-era aspiration up as well as anything. Still, it's a song that creeps up on the listener, the sort of thing you end up tapping your feet along with in spite of yourself. (Taylor himself seems like he could go either way with this one but gradually gets into it)
John Taylor gave his thoughts on twenty-two singles for this issue of ver Hits, thirteen of which he didn't care for. He's hardly the grumpiest character to evaluate new releases — but, rest assured, it won't be long before we get to him — he just wasn't that into a lot of what he heard. Simple really. It would be interesting to see if he now regrets his disdain (he admits that he doesn't begin to appreciate Prince songs until a "drunken night in a sweaty club gets me into them" so he may well have come round on at least one) but I rather hope he doesn't. Long may you hate sub-par pop, John Taylor!
~~~~~
Also Reviewed This Fortnight
The Bluebells: "Young at Heart"
Another pop "classic", though not quite as disliked by Taylor as the others (even if "music to tie knots to around the campfire" sounds a bit wry), "Young at Heart" originally appeared as a deep cut on Bananarama's Deep Sea Skiving but was reworked by co-writer Robert "Bobby Bluebell" Hodgens into the only song The Bluebells will ever be remembered for. It's dangerous for a people in their twenties to do a song called "Young at Heart", as if they have the faintest idea what that could possibly mean at such a tender age. At least the 'Narns version doesn't pretend to be offering up some sagely advice or any of that claptrap but this one has a misplaced world-weary quality which grates. Stick a fiddle on, put some older people in the video and cheerily admit that being young at heart is a key to happiness and — voila! — a big hit, big enough that it was even able to get to number one nearly a decade later. Proof that there is indeed a fine line between catchy and annoying.
Not exactly a ringing endorsement from John "Most Fanciable Male" Taylor, is it? Sometimes it's not about the record one happens to think "isn't bad", it's those singles that aren't even that good. And what a bunch of duds his nibs had to endure. Prince & The Revolution's "When Doves Cry" ("...doesn't do anything previous efforts haven't done before"), Bob Marley & The Wailers' "Waiting in Vain" ("I prefer him more abrasive"), The Pointer Sisters' "Jump (For My Love)" ("...this doesn't cut the mustard") and Tina Turner's "What's Love Got to Do with It" ("I'm disappointed. Where's the raunchola this week?") are among the lackluster hopefuls up for Taylor's consideration. The fact that they're all now arguably classics is just hard cheese.
I feel well-disposed towards Taylor's cavalier attitude towards these records mainly since they dovetail nicely with my own. Sure, Prince's name was made by Purple Rain and its singles but this was material very much in keeping with what he'd been doing a year earlier on the better 1999 album (although I can't let Taylor's remark that "everybody's getting heavy these days" slip by unchecked given that other pop stars cum guest reviewers could very well have said the same thing a few months later over The Power Station). Marley was never the same without original Wailer cohorts Peter Tosh and Bunny Wailer, his cutting lyrics and musical vision having been tamed by his late-seventies status as a spokesman and concert attraction. "Jump" is one of those eighties throwbacks that doesn't deserve all its film soundtrack space and TV commercials — and even being interrupted by a jubilant Simon Le Bon with news that they've risen in the US charts is not able to lift his disinterest. Turner's effort is better than most here but it's still far from what she was capable of. How the mighty have fallen.
Some, then, may want to jump in with a quip like "who's John Taylor to be knocking Prince? What's he ever done?" which is understandable enough but leaves out two significant factors: (a) this is John Taylor, bassist of Duran Duran who were still riding the success of "The Reflex" — which, though far from perfect, is more thrilling than anything Prince Rogers Nelson would ever record — and (b) he's giving his thoughts on a stack of new releases, what do his musical bona fides have to do with anything? (I mean, apart from helping land him this gig as guest reviewer?) Why bash a film you didn't care for if you haven't made one? Why knock a politician if you've never made a run for political office?
As for the SOTF itself, it's not too bad though it's hardly my choice cut here. (That would be The Human League's "Life on Your Own" even if I can fully understand not opting for something so rum) "Closest Thing to Heaven" is a fairly early example of eighties sophisti-pop, a sub genre which would come to rule the charts at the close of the decade, with it's clipped guitar parts and delicate synth backing. Martin Brammer was even a bit ahead of his time with a smooth yet mildly sandpapery vocal which would also become all too common in later years. The lyrics strive for a profundity which simply isn't there but I suppose that sums Thatcherite-era aspiration up as well as anything. Still, it's a song that creeps up on the listener, the sort of thing you end up tapping your feet along with in spite of yourself. (Taylor himself seems like he could go either way with this one but gradually gets into it)
John Taylor gave his thoughts on twenty-two singles for this issue of ver Hits, thirteen of which he didn't care for. He's hardly the grumpiest character to evaluate new releases — but, rest assured, it won't be long before we get to him — he just wasn't that into a lot of what he heard. Simple really. It would be interesting to see if he now regrets his disdain (he admits that he doesn't begin to appreciate Prince songs until a "drunken night in a sweaty club gets me into them" so he may well have come round on at least one) but I rather hope he doesn't. Long may you hate sub-par pop, John Taylor!
~~~~~
Also Reviewed This Fortnight
The Bluebells: "Young at Heart"
Another pop "classic", though not quite as disliked by Taylor as the others (even if "music to tie knots to around the campfire" sounds a bit wry), "Young at Heart" originally appeared as a deep cut on Bananarama's Deep Sea Skiving but was reworked by co-writer Robert "Bobby Bluebell" Hodgens into the only song The Bluebells will ever be remembered for. It's dangerous for a people in their twenties to do a song called "Young at Heart", as if they have the faintest idea what that could possibly mean at such a tender age. At least the 'Narns version doesn't pretend to be offering up some sagely advice or any of that claptrap but this one has a misplaced world-weary quality which grates. Stick a fiddle on, put some older people in the video and cheerily admit that being young at heart is a key to happiness and — voila! — a big hit, big enough that it was even able to get to number one nearly a decade later. Proof that there is indeed a fine line between catchy and annoying.
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