The Freeze: In Colour EP

20 September 1979

"Thrust on and beat Simple Minds at their own game (what made me say that?)."

— Andy Partridge

What I previously said:

Guest reviewer Andy Partridge of XTC — a rather big part of this maiden blog post I'm happy to report — thumbed his nose at virtually every single on offer this issue, kind of liked "Video Killed the Radio Star" but still wasn't convinced it could be a hit (then again, he hardly possessed cunning smash single instincts, did he?) and the proceeded to give Scots indie noiseters The Freeze his stamp of approval. I can't see why. Whereas Glass Torpedoes must have seemed like an act that people in the know wanted to keep an eye on, The Freeze are just tired, churning out the same unconvincing punk rock that was already a cliche by this point. Clearly some had yet to move on — and that goes for reviewer and reviewed.

With Cliff White flouncing off to the greener pastures of working for a record company, Smash Hits was at a loss. His fractious relationship with irate readers writing in to complain about his reviews may have turned off other members of the Hits staff to take his place as a permanent singles critic. Red Starr was still toiling away at the albums from all the way up in Scotland but having to write hundreds of words of prose on just one song proved much less attractive a proposition (something I know only too well). With everyone else "busy" at other "tasks" it fell to pop stars to pick up some of the slack. In these early years of the magazine, this was a rarity but, happily, ver Hits never quite went the Number One route of getting the likes of the Cookie Crew, Martika and Aloysius Parker (yes, a puppet off The Thunderbirds) to do the singles every single week.

Pop trivia fun fact time: XTC's Andy Partridge was the first pop star to review the Smash Hits singles. (It's something I'm revealing here but I hope that the upside of this blog's obscurity is that I might be able to use it at a pub quiz at some point down the road) Not an especially big act at the time, Swindon's finest were on the verge of a commercial breakthrough with the Colin Moulding-penned "Making Plans for Nigel", though they had already enjoyed a trio of Top 40 albums (with the latest Drums and Wires having been released only a month earlier) along with the acclaim of being a superlative live act. Yet, it still seems recruiting their leader in to sift through the new releases was a puzzling choice even if you consider that the Hits was still a long way off being the home for Stock Aitken Waterman signings. 

Still, Partridge did have experience in the field, having already made the Angelic Upstarts cross enough for them to threaten him with GBH due to an earlier guest review spot. He doesn't mention who he previously wrote for nor am I able to locate it online but I imagine it was easy to recognise he was the finest literary pop mind this side of Elvis Costello. XTC reissues over the last two decades have been a mixed bag with outstanding deluxe editions of many of their great albums, some decent but could be better box sets and the so-so Fuzzy Warbles series but His Nibs' liner notes have always been brilliant regardless. Priceless quips (though for some reason someone had his claim that "You and the Clouds May Still Be Beautiful" had 'nothing to do with Sting' from Homegrown expunged from the Apple Box notes), some detailed psychological background and loads of popstar apologetics are but some of the highlights of his prose. He is much more effective at scribbling notes about his own work than the material of others but his turn as singles reviewer still makes for a fine if perplexing read.

With twenty-five brand new records on offer you'd think that Partridge would find complimentary words for more than four of them. Then again, his "criticism" isn't especially clear so there may be a handful more that he quite liked but he wished to ramble on with amusing observations in lieu of praise. Works by The Fall ("Souds like the cover, cheap biro, bad relationships"), Noel ("The song is grey. The teeth are yellow"), The Barracudas ("The sort of disc that puts sand in your lunch") and Tommy Band ("...whoops, there's some hairspray on the grooves") are those that fall into this critical grey area. Elsewhere his wryness is such that he offers up an olive branch to all those he spurned in the form of an epilogue: "I'm going away now, so I'll say don't take criticism to heart — I love you all really". A bit sad that he feels the need to apologise for his reviews but at least he's addressing his fellow artists and not a bunch of grumpy Smash Hits readers (they had stern words for him about his thoughts on Sad Cafe and being a pain in the abdomen but I'm sure our Andy got over it in time).

Moving on, I was previously critical of both Partridge and The Freeze for being too stuck in the 1977 punk time warp but I think I was guilty of giving them the brush off far too swiftly. Repeated listens to In Colour have allowed the subtleties to emerge. "Paranoia" is cloaked in speed-freak punk, as is "For J.P.S.": I didn't hear the "good melody" and "good melodies, good, good" respectably but their playing is far too competent and their arrangements much too sophisticate to be merely dismissed as yet another throwback — and with the UK Subs offering up oh so more of the same ("Yesterday's cover, yesterday's sound") this very fortnight, I really do have egg on my face. But it's on "Psychodalek Nightmares" that my short shrift really goes all out. Did I even listen to this bloody song the first time round?

Partridge seems to have played the two sides in reverse order (Steve Bush isn't alone in that regard) and I think he was right to do so. "Psychodalek Nightmares" "buzzes nicely" along for over five minutes and is adventuresome in a way that its mates on the flip side only hint at.  A more unsettling "How Soon Is Now?" done five years in advance and with some of the finest rock violin playing since The Velvet Underground's "Black Angel's Death Song", it really shows how their rich, artier side was what made them stand out. It's as if "Paranoia" and "For J.P.S." are there to ease the old punks in while those of us prepped for something fresh were ready to dive right in on the other side.

Not that any of this is to my taste exactly, just that I wish to offer up a bit a mea culpa for my dismissive remarks above. I turned two years old in 1979 so I was probably getting my music either from Sesame Street or through my mum as she played The Beatles. Now, I'm mostly happy to listen to Fleetwood Mac's astonishing warts and all masterpiece Tusk and the surprisingly catchy free jazz-world music-new age Codona from the trio of Don Cherry, Naná Vasconcelos and Collin Walcott. And Drums and Wires by XTC: because Andy Partridge could be counted on for far more than just a bunch of bitchy singles review quips.

~~~~~

Also Reviewed This Fortnight

The Buggles: "Video Killed the Radio Star"

There are songs that sound better in your head than when you listen to them and then there's "Video Killed the Radio Star", a track dominated so wholly by the twee singing of some lass that it's almost inevitable that you'll forget all about the fantastic tune that mixes old school pop with futuristic production. Trevor Horns "sings" like he's doing Rob Brydon's 'Man Trapped in a Box' routine, the bass jumps around all over the place, the keys twinkle about and only that sad guitar solo hints at anything so gauche as the seventies. The eighties are nearly upon us kids! Too tidy, Partridge? Off yer bike lad!

Introduction: Audibly Edible Items

"The Leggy Blonde One turns in her usual Sweet Little Sixteen vocal," cooed reviewer Cliff White, "the arrangement and production are a treat for the feet." He continues, "the group is cooking on regulo 9", and, just to finish up on a slightly less complimentary note, "the song is not just throwaway junk." Blondie's "Heart of Glass" was huge and everyone — well, at least one critic at any rate — saw it coming. White's Smash Hits review cites it as the one most likely to thrive on the charts but nowhere does he state that it's his personal favourite.

"Going Underground", "Oliver's Army", "Love Will Tear Us Apart", "Ashes to Ashes", "Kids in America", "Geno", "Making Plans for Nigel", "Tainted Love", "Cars", "Video Killed the Radio Star", "Ghostown", "Don't You Want Me": late-seventies/early-eighties British pop is loaded with remarkable singles. Virtually all were massive hits at the time — sorry Nigel, obviously hitting the top of the charts wasn't part of the plans they were making — and they're all well-remembered to this day, even by listeners who weren't around at the time to enjoy them. Some were part of the zeitgeist of Thatcherism and strikes and an all around sense of malaise of the time. And like "Heart of Glass" not one was a Smash Hits Single of the Fortnight.

Of course the SOTF spot didn't exist in these early days of ver Hits so I've had to go over Brian McCloskey's indispensable Smash Hits archive to spot any early examples. Some, like "Heart of Glass" as well as "Going Underground", were highly acclaimed but weren't specifically cited as the best of the bunch. It's only once we get midway through 1981 that the SOTF starts to become a thing and that's where we'll be kicking things off in the next post. For now I could only find seven singles that reviewers picked out as "single of the week" (sic.) or "most essential swap for a quid note this fortnight" or — my personal favourite — "arguably the most audibly edible item on the menu this sitting".

Date	"Artist"	Single
26 July 1979	Glass Torpedoes	"Someone Different"
20 September 1979	The Freeze	In Colour EP
21 February 1980	The Gibson Brothers	"Cuba"
15 May 1980	Roxy Music	"Over You"
4 September 1980	XTC	"Generals & Majors"
18 September 1980	The Teardrop Explodes	"When I Dream"
16 October 1980	XTC	"Towers of London"

Glass Torpedoes: "Someone Different"

The spidery riffs and a hard-plonking beat make this an easy to like if kind of underwhelming first SOTF. The ghostly, expressionless vocals and minimalist atmospherics put it very much in the context of late-seventies new wave. It seems they were very young at the time — the fact that they were on a label known as Teen Beat sort of gives away their age — and, thus, were a promising bunch. Or so it seemed.

The Freeze: In Colour EP

Guest reviewer Andy Partridge of XTC — a rather big part of this maiden blog post I'm happy to report — thumbed his nose at virtually every single on offer in this issue, kind of liked "Video Killed the Radio Star" but still wasn't convinced it could be a hit (then again, he hardly possessed cunning smash single instincts, did he?) and then proceeded to give Scots indie noisesters The Freeze his stamp of approval. I can't see why. Whereas Glass Torpedoes must have seemed like an act that people in the know wanted to keep an eye on, The Freeze are just tired, churning out the same unconvincing punk rock that was already a cliché by this point. Clearly some had yet to move on — and that goes for reviewer and reviewed.

The Gibson Brothers: "Cuba"

At last, a hit! The only selection here without a trace of indie cred, this has elements of the suave, literary side of disco perpetuated by the likes of Chic and Dr Buzzard's Original Savannah Band. The catchy, discophied Latin rhythms also fit in well alongside reggae and ska. If only the vocal wasn't quite so earnest and pleading. Oh well.

Roxy Music: "Over You"

The Rox handed in their weakest album at this point but their creative nadir didn't have any effect on the public and, indeed, on critics. As one (possibly pseudonymous) Mrs Esmé Sprigg of Hounslow raved, "Stand aside. Here comes a perfectly executed pop record, reeking of class and presenting Roxy Music at their dazzling roxiest." If by that she means "by numbers and nowhere near "Virginia Plain" or any of their old stuff but probably the best they could do at the time though worryingly evident of a dullness they would never be able to shake" then, yes, I wholeheartedly agree.

XTC: "Generals & Majors"

Old Farters Parters may not have had great taste in records but he and his chums knew a little about pumping out ace stuff of their own. Seemingly as much attracted to this due to its value-for-money two record set as for its infectious synthesized whistling and all-around jauntiness, it's interesting to note just how much emphasis reviewers placed on B-sides and extra tracks in making their evaluations. It's commendable of them to do so but in the case of "Generals & Majors" they needn't have bothered as it fizzles with energy and is a perfect launch pad for their sublime album Black Sea — and a taster for what a live powerhouse they were supposed to be at the time.

The Teardrop Explodes: "When I Dream"
Reviewer Mark Ellen described this as "bursting its sides with lightness, depth and ingenuity" and it's not difficult to see why. Julian Cope and his old Teardrop mates leave nothing on the table for this, even if it does go on a bit long — although there could be a single edit that I'm not aware of, I used the version that closes the kind-of-dated-but-also-kind-of-timeless Kilimanjaro. A cracker.

XTC: "Towers of London"

UK music critics at the time were crazy about Swindon's XTC — just as North American hacks were similarly gaga for them by the end of the eighties — as this second proto-SOTF in just six weeks indicates (perhaps it was also to make amends for spurning "Making Plans for Nigel" a year earlier). Spinning a yarn over London's growth and the poor, wretched individuals who built it, the song clangs of hammered iron, which hints at what they'd eventually do on their patchy '84 album The Big Express. Clearly XTC were on course to become a preeminent eighties band. What could possibly go wrong?

And there you have it. Seven proto-Singles of the Fortnight to get this thing going. I'll be back next week with something rather less well known than Blondie, although at the same time they probably aren't quite in the realm of the obscure as Glass Torpedoes and The Freeze. They're in that pop music grey area.