— Miranda Sawyer
Hark! Marks Shooting Sparks! What a Lark! You might say she's a bit of a "mark" for the lads named "Marc". Did Hits colleagues Frith and Andrews put "our" "Bunny" up to this?
Pet Shop Boys and Billy Bragg aside, Miranda "Bunny" Sawyer has chosen some very questionable Singles of the Fortnight during her four year "stint" at the top pop mag. She went with a forgettable slice of Euro-pop over The Stone Roses' "Fools' Gold", passed on underrated bangers like The Chimes' cover of "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" and Billy Joel's "The Downeaster Alexa" in favour of the bland dancefloor twosome of Touch of Soul and Beats International (not even their good song!) and brushed aside Blur's "There's No Other Way" in order to prop up the questionable talents of Vic Reeves. Even the Pet Shops ended up being dismissed by her when she took their masterpiece "Being Boring" to task while going with a lame MC Tunes collaboration with some sprogs and a Madonna greatest hits promoting new track that was better as a concept than as an actual song. (And then there's her indecisiveness. This is the third time she anointed co-SOTF, something her cohorts at ver Hits generally avoided doing)
So, let's get this over with. New Kids on the Block had been one of those music phenomenons that seemed depressingly long term. They had been so prevalent within the culture that it felt like they would never go away. Then, 1991 came along and they were gone — and suddenly it was as if they would never return (which, in effect, they never really did). Their fans had moved on and everyone else hated them, something that's difficult to come back from.
Nevertheless, the New Kids name was enough for the younger brother of one of its key members to emerge just as the quintet was busy falling off the map. If there was one New Kid who received the lion's share of the hate it was Donnie Whalberg. While Jordan, Jon and Joey were pop pretty boys enjoying their spell of fame and Danny made do with being the "other one", Donnie was the one who commanded attention. He appeared unhappy with his situation and seemed to be the one who craved credibility. To the others, the New Kids were just a boy band; to him, they were hip hop-savy street toughs. It mattered little that this gambit made them look even wussier.
Just what we needed was a second Whalberg to come along. Making matters worse was that he had the spotlight to himself. Without the preening Jordan, there was no one around Mark Whalberg to counteract the phony tough guy persona. What he had was this seemingly nameless Funky Bunch to make him look even more menacing, something they just about managed. Mark's other major accomplishment happened to be making me wish for the return of older brother Donnie.
Yes, this is major movie star Mark Whalberg we're talking about, a man who has got a lot of mileage out of starring in Boogie Nights (which he has more recently disavowed). But prior to that, he was a rap "talent", one who wasn't going to lower himself into "singing" or any of that sell out pop nonsense. Except that debut single "Good Vibrations" was as pop as it comes and its only really notable features are the big-voice of backing singer Loleatta Holloway and Marky's six-pack in the accompanying video. As if addressing this decent into commercialism, he returned with the street ode "Wildside", an update of Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side". Honestly, I found "Good Vibrations" to be the more convincing of the two.
Sawyer expresses distaste with Whalberg's earlier releases which makes her especially delighted by "Must for the People". It's better than "Wildside" but, again, I'm not sure I buy this attempt at turning rap into a modern day folk music. Perhaps it's simply the fact that he goes out and says it directly which is so distasteful. If he wished to make music for the proles then by all means do so but he doesn't have to state it so directly. But that's just me. The other thing working against this is that it doesn't stand out enough.
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"Which title does the above title remind you of, readers?"
- Miranda Sawyer (again)
The release of Memorabilia: The Singles earlier in 1991 gave Marc Almond a second wind. "Tainted Love" returned to the charts and quickly became a cog of eighties' retro while the Willing Sinner was preparing new music of his own. His performance on "Something's Gotten Hold of My Heart" proved he could hold his own with alongside a legend like Pitney and he went back into sixties mode as inspiration for the album Tenement Symphony. Though much of the material was co-written with former Soft Cell mate Bell, its finest tracks were (fancy that) its pair of covers. The first single released was a version of the Jacques Brel number "Jacky" which had also been a recorded by Scott Walker for the classic Scott 2. This showed that Almond was ahead of the game: the Scott Walker revival was still the better part of a decade away. Not a huge hit in the autumn of '91 but it did all right. The third single arrived the following spring. Once again, our hero had plundered un-fashionable material from the sixties. "The Days of Pearly Spencer" had previously been a flop in the UK when released by Irish singer David McWilliams but this memorable cover gave Almond a Top 5 smash.
But it is the record released in between "Jacky" and "Pearly Spencer" which is of concern to us here. I was initially underwhelmed but it has grown on me over the last several days. Nevertheless, work that sounds like rejects from ABC's The Lexicon of Love can only be of limited interest. Whatsmore, I suspect Sawyer herself knows this. Her review goes into much more detail about Kylie Minogue than Almond himself.
"My Hand Over My Heart" is of course reminiscent of Kylie's number one hit from '89 "Hand on Your Heart". Sawyer advises Hits viewers to play the 12" at 45 RPM in order to "hear the Kylie single she never made!" I will have to take her word for it. I did indeed give the extended mix a listen but having go at a faster pace on YouTube didn't do anything to make me think this had been a Stock Aitken Waterman classic hidden in plain sight. Somehow or other, the music played faster but Almond's voice remained steadfastly Marc Almond, somehow sounding more like himself the more I tried to speed it up. Perhaps playing the physical vinyl copy made for different results but this only convinces me further what a generational vocalist Almond has always been. Quite right too. It's a shame such a so-so song would be what gives him his sole appearance in this blog but I'm glad to have him here all the same.
As for Kylie and her much cherished pop sound of old, Miranda Sawyer and the Hits "viewers" wouldn't have to wait long. 1992 was about to begin with things being nice and familiar — though not for long.
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Also Reviewed This Fortnight
The Beautiful South: "Old Red Eyes Is Back"
I guess I sound a little grumpy above, huh? Well, call me resentful that I had to write about bloody Marky Mark instead of one of my favourite groups. I'm also a little ticked that they keep getting shafted by others. "Old Red Eyes Is Back" is a firm fan fave but it fell well short of Sawyer's predicted Top 5 spot, only getting to number twenty-three. I wonder if the grotesque sleeve turned people off? This is the start of Paul Heaton's series of songs about drunks, something that would eventually become a Beautiful South cliche. For the time being, however, "Old Red Eyes" was stirring, bittersweet and even funny in places. For my money just a notch below upper tier South. Their commercial fortunes seemed to be heading downhill but they were at a creative peak, though you wouldn't know it if you didn't bother buying the 0890 album, an LP whose deep cuts vastly out pace the singles. If only everyone appreciated them as much as me. (Note: The Beautiful South will eventually be appearing in this space but with a record I don't even like all that much. Look for me to be back in grumpy mode when we get to it)
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