Kid Creole & The Coconuts: Christmas in B'Dilly Bay with Kid Creole & The Coconuts

9 December 1982

"The man who proves once and for all that you can be 100% hip and highly commercial at the same time, goes for his fourth hit in six months with a bonzer-value Christmas EP."

— Tim De Lisle

I have long maintained that Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas is superior to A Christmas Gift for You from Phil Spector. Honestly, it's not particularly close. While Ella Fitzgerald handled fun festive favourites and po-faced works of faith equally well, just over half-an-hour of the Wall of Sound is about twenty minutes too long for my tastes. The material is not dissimilar — the two albums have six Yuletide hits in common — the running times are near-identical and Spector charges The Ronettes and The Crystals are almost as good at bringing childish joy to a vocal as Ella Fitzgerald herself. But she was a pro like very few others of any generation so it's no knock on Ronnie Spector that she can't quite measure up. Yet, there's no question of its importance and it certainly has its moments.

There aren't many other Christmas albums that are as critically acclaimed as either Ella Wishes You a Swinging Christmas or A Christmas Gift for You. Indie fans are fond of Low's Christmas which opens with the wonderful Spector-ish "Just Like Christmas" and is followed by the moving "Long Way Around the Sea" and a distortion-filled version of "Little Drummer Boy". Unfortunately, the remaining five tracks don't really do much. I seldom bother playing the whole thing. For lovers of too-cool-for-school indie, they'd do better seeking out the 1981 collection A Christmas Record.

It is not a single-artist release nor the work of a psychopath producer and all those poor souls who worked for him but it is much more than your typical seasonal compilation. The mandate from the deeply hip label ZE was for everyone to compose their own Christmas song and then have them bundled together. By far the best known track on it is "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses. Though nearly a hit at the time in Britain, it has since become much-loved by a wider spectrum of the public. Those chiming, chunky guitars and a catchy indie rock beat make it hard to dislike and that's before you even get to the unique tale being told in the lyrics. "Christmas Wrapping" mixes the American love for fantasy with the dry British practice of introducing a touch of reality to their Christmas songs. No one has ever been able to pull off a decent cover but who needs a facsimile when you've got the glorious real thing?

"Christmas Wrapping" is probably my favourite Christmas song of all time but there's another selection on A Christmas Record that is nearly as good. "Christmas on Riverside Drive" was initially credited to August Darnell the leader of Kid Creole & The Coconuts who was looking to get on with a solo career. He was also currently busy getting his album Wise Guy ready for release and this was the first sign that he could be on his own from this point forward.

Then, ZE began to fret over their bottom line. Darnell was just about the only artist they had signed with much commercial potential (Was (Not Was) would've also had potential but they were still five years away from having hits) so they got on him about altering his latest recordings to spark sales and even bringing back the Kid Creole & The Coconuts name. This all could have and should have blown up in their faces but then the re-titled Tropical Gangsters became a massive hit in Europe. Singles "I'm a Wonderful Thing, Baby", "Annie, I'm Not Your Daddy" and "Stool Pigeon" all made the UK Top 10.

A fourth single from Tropical Gangsters wouldn't have been out of the question but the end of 1982 presented the group and their record label with the opportunity to kill three birds with one stone. First, they could milk the success they'd built up that year. Second, they could pique the interest of their suddenly large fanbase by recycling a deep cut from previous album Fresh Fruit in Foreign Places. Third, further recycling could be done by giving single release Darnell's magnificent contribution to A Christmas Record. Thus, "No Fish Today", "Dear Addy" and "Christmas on Riverside Drive" ended up bundled together as the E.P. Christmas in B'Dilly Bay.

As I have already said, the concept — hey, if there can be concept albums then surely concept E.P.'s can't be out of the question — doesn't really work. "Dear Addy" and "No Fish Today" both have island rhythms guiding them but I fail to see the connection to Christmas; "Riverside Drive" obviously fits the holiday but Manhattan sophistication is quite a leap from wherever B'Dilly Bay is meant to be. I guess that's what happens when three songs are randomly shoved together much to the disinterest of the public. (Getting into the Top 30 would have been quite the feat for the Coconuts just a year earlier but now it must have seemed like a flop)

But let's not quibble since all three tracks are outstanding, just like everything Darnell did at around this time. In a way, not really fitting together kind of works to its advantage since they show just what an effortlessly brilliant talent he was whether he was playing around with reggae and Asian melodies or if he was the next Cab Calloway. The record itself may be all over the place but, Jesus, isn't that Kid Creole guy just the greatest?

"Christmas on Riverside Drive" really ought to be as beloved a NYC holiday classic as The Pogues' "Fairytale of New York" but there isn't really the interest in wealthy couples having a night out, drinking cocktails at a swanky hotel bar and then dining at that wood-paneled steakhouse that Johnny Weissmuller used to frequent. I've never been to New York so I can only go by the music I've listened to, Seinfeld and the three Woody Allen movies I've seen (three's enough, right?). I'm sure much of it isn't magical just as there's probably a lot of the city that isn't even all that great. It probably isn't even all that dangerous. All I know is that when I finally do go there, I'll be singing this damn song to myself (and, possibly, out loud) even if I happen to be there in the middle of the summer. Especially in summer.

~~~~~

Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Yoko Ono: "My Man"

She used to wear black. Then, she wore nothing with that chap who allegedly was responsible for her breakup with the Fluxus movement. In the early seventies she began favouring berets and hot pants; by the time she reached her seventies, she finally began embracing chic fashions that surprisingly suited her. But for my money the Yoko Ono look that I'll always remember her for is her mullet in a ponytail with those iconic wraparound shades. While her Man often thrived in the avant-garde terrain that he didn't always feel comfortable in, his Woman generally recorded stronger material the closer she inched herself towards the mainstream. They aren't all that similar but "My Man" reminds me a little of "Sisters, O Sisters" form the slightly underrated Some Time in New York City; perhaps it's because they're both funnier and more playful than most would credit Ono with. Her widowhood was still fresh so people may have expected something of a tearjerker but there's plenty of knowing absurdity which implies that the influence may have been much more of a two way street than what we've been led to believe.

(Click here to see my original review)

The The: "Uncertain Smile"

30 September 1982

"Some of The The's earlier efforts have been a bit aimless, but this is right on the the button."

— Johnny Black

"The The were an act that I had occasional encounters with over more than a decade but who I could never conjure up much enthusiasm for, which also goes for their name."

As I believe I've discussed previously (I can't be bothered to check), Smash Hits really used to knock Prefab Sprout for their useless name. Maybe I'm just used to it or perhaps it's the fact that I love virtually everything that Paddy McAloon had a hand in but it has never bothered me. What does it mean? Who the hell knows and who cares! I spent a great deal of time trying to think up a better name for this blog than simply VER HITS but I eventually gave up and settled for what had been its working title.

It's easy to forgive a band you genuinely love for having a silly name (and, let's face it, they're all rather stupid; the only group name I care for anymore is Strawberry Switchblade) but it's a whole other matter when you're indifferent towards them or worse. In a sense, 'The The' is the opposite of something like 'Prefab Sprout': rather than sounding a bit naff a first that you eventually just get used to, it seems clever to begin with only to become tired rather quickly. It's easy to imagine Matt Johnson along with whoever happened to be with him at this early stage drunkenly jotting down possible band names only to burst out in hysterics when someone suggested 'The The' — and they liked it enough in the cold light of the next morning to stick with it. Not unlike The Be-Sharps only not as clever — nor as funny.

"All that said, what am I to make of "Uncertain Smile"? Well, I will acknowledge that it would be my choice of SOTF as well."

Did I really like it this much? "A lovely, floating melody"? "An intriguing lyric which manages to read rather well as poetry?" (Laying it on a little think, aren't I?) I clearly enjoyed it during the time I worked on the original blog post but I quickly forgot all about it. 1982 had some stellar Singles of the Fortnight — "Love Plus One", "Party Fears Two", "View from a Bridge", "Faithless", "Man Out of Time", "Pass the Dutchie" — which may explain why a record that I had some fondness for seemed to slip through the cracks. Listening to it now, I still like it but I can't say I'm as willing to gush all over it as I had been.

Context could be a key as to why it stood out at the time. I had long grown weary of all that white boy funk that had been all over the place in early eighties' British music so anything that provided some sort of alternative was welcome. Now, I'm more willing to take all those UK groups who were trying to be just like Chic as they provide relief from over-serious American R&B acts that dominated the early nineties. As long as you're not whatever it is I'm sick to death of then you're in my good books. It is at this stage I remind myself that The The weren't earnest, keeping-it-real Romeos and admit that they did have that going for them.

"Perhaps it's time I filled in the gaps, not just to see if Matt Johnson was up to churning out more equally formidable gems but also if I can catch where it all began to go south."

It's been just under five years since the last time I blogged about this record and the gaps remain unfilled. The The have been covered in this space twice and both times I've had praise for what they had to offer, even if my feelings towards 1986's "Heartland" are somewhat more mixed. Still, they were a band I never thought much of whose earlier efforts impressed me though not enough to get me to investigate "their" output further over the last half-decade. In truth, the thought hadn't crossed my mind ever since blogging about how I really ought to give them more of my time. There's plenty of time for me to explore and, indeed, lots of time left to put off said exploration. Till we meet again, The — or not.

~~~~~

Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Kid Creole & The Coconuts: "Annie, I'm Not Your Daddy"

"Although certainly a marked improvement over last fortnight's glum crop of singles, the likes of Ultravox's "Reap the Wild Wind" and The Pretenders' "Back on the Chain Gang" are pleasantly unremarkable efforts but nowhere close to this good."

I clearly didn't spend a great deal of time considering the virtues of every new release in this issue. I had started this blog intending to listen at least once to everything that was reviewed but it was something I abandoned almost immediately. (I'm pretty sure I managed to give everything a go from the first two singles reviews covered only to give up because (a) it was pointless and (b) I couldn't be arsed) Take this fortnight. While certainly there are a fair number of "pleasantly unremarkable" newbies, for whatever reason I let this memorable number two hit get away from me. (I blame it being buried at the bottom of the right-hand side of the page rather than my carelessness) A little August Darnell goes a long way but this never hurt his many quite brilliant singles and "Annie, I'm Not Your Daddy" is probably his finest since "Cherchez la femme". Sultry, cool, sleazy and funny. Deserves to have been covered by people who completely miss the song's point — and I say that as someone who isn't sure of it's point either. A good deal superior to "Uncertain Smile" so pay no attention to my nonsense from way back when.

(Click here to see my original review)

Weekend: "Past Meets Present"

22 July 1982

"But although Weekend don't make an instant impression, they leave an atmosphere hanging in the air afterwards. Three plays and you're hooked on it."

— Dave Rimmer

Play #1

Gosh this singer sounds an awful like the girl from Young Marble Giants. They both have that deadpan voice that was commonplace among post-punk female singers but done in a fashion that implies that they are convinced that they can carry a note. Does this make their form of non-singing singing a fraud since they can sing all along?

The instruments don't really mesh, do they? But I suppose that's the point. The strings and sax are meant to be all laid back but the guitars refuse to toe the line. It is the only instrument that matters so of course the guitarist has to be different.

Play #2

Nah, this isn't the girl from Young Marble Giants. This one's way too downbeat. Dave Rimmer thinks everything's in the background but maybe the vocals and instruments are all up in the front, trying to compete for the listener's attention. It's not a great way to listen to a record though.

I liked "A View from Her Room" a whole lot more I have to say. That song felt perfectly at home being a jazzy new wave song but this just isn't sure what it's supposed to be. And is there really the need for two sax solos?

Play #3

Honestly, this would have been a really strong album cut (ideally, as a final or penultimate track) but for the fact that no one bothered to put it on Weekend's album La varieté, the clots. "Past Meets Present" just isn't single material. Not sure if anything they did was compatible with the 45" format though.

Rimmer's right that it does linger in the air but so do farts. It's strange how you can fart when you're out on the street and then get on a bus and it follows you. This single isn't quite the same: it's easy to be rid of it unless you concentrate enough and then it sticks around a while. Good thing farts don't tend to be that powerful.

So, despite the pathetic "gag" above, I know full well this is Allison Stratton, formerly of Young Marble Giants. (As Brian Eno said, only 10,000 people bought the only YMG album but everyone who did formed a band that didn't get anywhere) You can have your skeletal indie rock, I'll take uneasy lounge jazz any day, even if this song is just all right.

Sorry Rims, not hooked.

~~~~~

Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Kid Creole & The Coconuts: "Stool Pigeon"

Play #1

Damn, this one's a banger!

Play #2

Still a banger! And rather miraculous considering August Darnell's zoot suit trousers go up to his nipples and he was flirting with novelty pop on "Stool Pigeon". But who could resist such a catchy delight?

Play #3

The bangiest banger that ever did bang! FYI, I was hooked three plays ago.

(Click here to see my original review)

Kid Creole & The Coconuts: Dear Addy EP

9 December 1982

"The man who proves once and for all that you can be 100% hip and highly commercial at the same time, goes for his fourth hit in six months with a bonzer-value Christmas EP."

— Tim De Lisle

The title of this week's SOTF isn't actually Dear Addy EP. The song "Dear Addy" seems to have received virtually all of the promotion and probably took on the name as a result. Christmas in B'Dilly Bay is the real title here. Nevertheless, I've decided to go with the latter. Not because I feel it necessary to slavishly stick to whatever Smash Hits uses but due to ...B'Dilly Bay being such a dashed concept that I created in my mind. I figured that this collection would amount to Christmas carols in the tropics: tales of locals catching fish and enjoying pineapples and guavas on a beach, wealthy holidaymakers and/or expats living large in a third world paradise, penniless children stringing beads they've found so they have a prezzie for Mama, people who look upon the rich man's whinge of "White Christmas" (particularly the obnoxious "there's never been such a day / In Beverley Hills, L.A." section) and shake their heads. Dear Addy is simply a more accurate reflection of the material herein.

Towards the end of 1981 an independent New York-based record label called ZE got their stable together to compile a seasonal collection. A Christmas Record could not have been more mundanely titled but the concept of having each act write their own festive number was unique and it stands out for that very reason. It wasn't a huge success but it did birth at least one festive classic and it's now regarded as the first alternative Christmas album.

One of ZE's flagship artists was August Darnell, late of disco sophisticates Dr. Buzzard's Original Savannah Band and more recently heading Kid Creole & The Coconuts, an act he appeared to be moving away from. Featured prominently on the cover in charicature form in a beige pin-stripe suit, the  customarily stylish "Christmas on Riverside Drive" is credited under his own name. A kind of "Fairytale of New York" for Manhattan's super rich and not toothless and destitute, it takes the Kid and his Coconutty pals out of their Caribbean comfort zone to a snow-covered Gotham of kids skating outdoors and couples dressed up for a night out. Jump ahead a year and he's (reluctantly) back using the Kid Creole moniker, riding a surprising wave of chart success throughout western Europe and trying his hand at having a Christmas hit on the UK singles chart.

Exactly how much effort he was putting into such a task is another matter. "Christmas on Riverside Drive" appears in edited form but it's been relegated to the the EP's flip side, isn't mentioned by Tim De Lisle in his review in ver Hits and feels a bit like it's here for padding and to give the package the Christmassy feel that it otherwise lacks. It sits alongside "No Fish Today" which is indeed a natural single, De Lisle argues, if of lesser quality than fellow Tropical Gangsters hits "I'm a Wonderful Thing, Baby", "Stool Pigeon" and "Annie, I'm Not Your Daddy". At a time when four singles off an album was still considered scraping the bottom of the barrel (mercifully, we're still a ways away from Michael and Janet Jackson's absurd every song's a single policy), inclusion on an EP was a nicely stealth means of keeping the product coming.

It's over on the A-side that we get the song that's meant to get people in the shops. "Dear Addy" first appeared on ver Coconuts' Fresh Fruit in Foreign Places LP but was since rerecorded with a spoken intro of a messenger delivering a telegram to one Addy Harne. Emotionally sung by Darnell, its mix of laid back reggae and traditional Japanese music make this an easy highlight. The cleverness and hipness of Kid Creole & The Coconuts is dispensed with in favour of a pleading style. This departure may have contributed to the single's relatively cool reception as the group's newfound popularity in Britain was bankrolled by Darnell's irony and dance-pop deconstructionism. As for Addy, it's worth noting that Kid Creole's wife at the time was Swiss transplant Coconut Adriana "Addy" Kaegi; given that the Addy in the song appears to be a platonic female friend who the singer confides in about other women, one hopes he didn't base too much of the song on his own life.

As EP's go, however, I would have to agree with De Lisle that this would have been "bonzer-value" (whatever that is). Three decent, unrelated songs tied together feels tossed off but is a tidy summation of August Darnell's talent and ease with varying vocal styles.  It would have been nice to get some original material and that may go some way to explaining why it was a relative failure. Hopes of a fourth top ten hit on the bounce never materialized as Dear Addy struggled to number twenty-nine. Meanwhile, another ZE Christmas Record number — sadly not reviewed in this issue — was coming up just short of the top forty but it would eventually take on a life of its own. "Christmas on Riverside Drive" may not have been covered by the likes of The Spice Girls, Kylie Minogue, The Donnas and Martha Wainwright but that was the fate of the fantastic "Christmas Wrapping" by Waitresses. Too bad Darnell didn't flesh out the Christmas in B'Dilly Bay concept, it might have made its way on to an episode of Glee too.

~~~~~

Also Reviewed This Fortnight

Fun Boy Three: "The More I See (The Less I Believe)"

Alas, it didn't help much, just as De Lisle said it wouldn't but then neither did potential Now That's What I Call The Troubles numbers "Sunday Bloody Sunday" by John and Yoko, "Give Ireland Back to the Irish" by Wacky Macca and "Belfast Child" by Simple Minds. De Lisle describes it as "cliche-ridden" but I think that's precisely the point. Messers Golding, Hall and Staple bottle the powerlessness that we all tend to feel about longstanding conflict hot spots into a song about being so utterly fed up with an issue that isn't our "concern". Sure, The Police did it much better with "Invisible Sun" but the Three aren't here to lecture us. What they do manage to do is provide an intense tune and a typically angry vocal from Terry Hall. And, hey, if you still aren't convinced, at least check out the superbly amateurish video with cameos from June Miles-Kingston and David Byrne as a weatherman (not a member of the terrorist group, mind you, though that might have worked well here too).